Brain Swizzle

# 367

2009-08-20T17:50:00.001-05:00

When your three year old requests a haircut, take her to get the f'n haircut, like immediately.

What I've Learned from Sparkle #350

2009-08-06T13:02:00.002-05:00

Self-adhesive postage stamps may be the most expensive "stickers" ever.

Note to self: Buy stamps that have to be licked until Sparkle gets past the sticker obsession.

When you stop learning, you stop living.

#305

2009-07-16T14:07:00.001-05:00

It's never a good sign when you walk into a room and your 2 year old starts yelling, "Do not see!! Do not see!!"

#292...No Need to Thank Me

2009-07-09T18:44:00.002-05:00

When your two year old decides during "nap" time (when she doesn't sleep) to trade her pants for tights, make sure she still has on her diaper.

Hmmmm. I think I could come up with a daily tip - The things I've learned the second time around.

Tidbit #291 That I've Learned from Sparkle

2009-07-09T12:03:00.002-05:00

Did you know that all of the stickers on Rubik's Cube squares are white? Yeah. The colors are actually translucent stickers on top of white stickers.

Sparkle's nickname may become "Destructo".

Trusting...Trusting...Trusting...

2009-06-12T12:23:00.000-05:00

OK. Pictures of samples sent. Quotes sent.

Breathing....

Two In a Row, Huh?

2009-06-10T09:03:00.004-05:00

After I finished reading The Shack, I read another book that my mom had. This book is called Redeeming Love. It's the story of the book of Hosea set during the California gold rush.

My first reaction was, That's nice. What's the book of Hosea about? As you may or may not know, in the book of Hosea, Hosea is led by God to marry a prostitute. Hilarity ensues. Just kidding.

In Redeeming Love, Michael Hosea is in the same predicament. The girl doesn't feel worthy of his unconditional love and Michael has several conversations with God along the lines of "Are you nuts?" and "Why are you doing this to me?" She leaves, he goes back and gets her. More than once. It's a pretty interesting read (I read it in 3 days). But what struck me most was that it's another "trust God and stop worrying; you aren't in control anyway" book.

Internal monolog: "Hm. Two in a row. I don't feel like I have many situations in my life that I try to wrest control from God. My life is pretty calm and uncomplicated. I'll try to remember these books should the situation ever present itself. Now, I need to figure out what I'm going to do about that request I received for a quote on tags."

You see, a week ago I received an email. It was from a person who has a shop on etsy who makes clothes and accessories. In the email she tells me that she works at a boutique in Houston that wholesales to over 80 stores across the US. She would like me to give a quote for making 1000 - 3000 small aluminum tags for them.

"Gulp. Not possible. I can't cut that much aluminum. Where do I get that much aluminum. Can I stamp that much? No way. Great opportunity. Scary opportunity."

I have been searching high and low on the internet to find aluminum that can be cut, pre cut tags the size they want. It's driving me nuts. Mr Swizzle helps me realize that they expect me to be the one to tell them what will look good, if it can be done, etc.

I seem to go straight into freak out mode when presented with things like this. Hey wait, could this be one of those "trust God" moments? Duh.

So last night I emailed her a couple of options since the size tag they want doesn't exist and the letters wouldn't fit on that size anyway.

We shall see. If she likes the option that I hope she likes, I'll then have to boldly come up with a quote without selling myself short. Putting a number out there and hoping they don't balk. I think. Do I want to do it? AAAAAH.

Oh, wait. Trust God. Right.....

The Shack

2009-06-07T19:54:00.003-05:00

Have you read it?

If you have, what did you think?

If you haven't, check it out.

I don't usually flock to the books that "everyone is talking about". I happened into a store with a prominent display of the book, and decided to go ahead and give it a read. I'm visiting my parents, so I have a little bit more time to read than usual.

I think this book has life changing potential. I like it when authors present a different way of looking at something you've seen all your life. C. S. Lewis has always been a favorite. I may have mentioned before that his version of the salvation story seems to stir me more than the one in the Bible. I don't know what that says about me. Maybe I'll figure that out one day. His description of heaven in The Great Divorce is fascinating.

This book struck me the same way. I finished it yesterday and I'm hungry for more. Hungry for ways to apply some of the ideas to my own life. I think I'm going to read it again when I don't have as many distractions.

I can see this book becoming well worn and creased from reading over and over.

Tell me what you think if you've read it too. I'm curious.

Thoughts?

2009-05-12T08:04:00.003-05:00

This just kinda hit me as...odd? funny? disturbing?

Regarding Miss California and her same sex marriage beliefs and her nudie pics online:

The pageant would "never want to take away a girl's beliefs or her voice," he said. "We try to make these women capable of being free thinkers."

"But when you wear the title that says 'I represent everyone,' you can't then polarize the people you represent," he said.

"Girls"? "MAKE theses women CAPABLE of being free thinkers"? That little phrase just muddles my brain.

Does anyone really feel "represented" by their respective Miss USA contestant?

How odd is this whole "incident"?

Reading and Reading

2009-05-09T20:52:00.003-05:00

I'm pretty proud of the amount of reading I've been able to do this year. When Mr. S and I went on our anniversary trip in January, I read 3 books. I've been reading almost every day. Of course, most of that reading takes place between 9pm and midnight, so I guess you could say my sleep patterns have been affected.

I've read a couple Grisham books. I'm reading Angels and Demons now. I read all four of the books in the Twilight Series. Ah, to be a teenage girl again.

Now, I've picked up the books on Twinkle's summer reading list. Here's what she'll (we'll) be reading: Charlotte's Web, The Wind in the Willows, The Railway Children and Augustus Caesar's World.

The only one of these that I've read is Charlotte's Web and...it's been a while, though I do remember bawling at the end. Twinkle has seen the movie, so she won't be surprised when we get to the end.

The Railway Children was written by a woman who was a socialist and apparently quite a rabble rouser, so that ought to be fun. I think I'm actually going to read the page at the beginning that tells about the author's life to Twinkle.

One of the books (gasp) has the word "ass" in it several times (my neighbor across the street said that the year her kids read it, one of the other moms was in quite a state the first day of school).

The Caesar book seems like it could be pretty dry reading, BUT looking through it, it does look like there are some interesting parts tying together several things going on at a particular time.

So, any tips? Have you read any of these and liked or disliked them? I'm trying to figure out if we start with Caesar, or if we start with one that's more story-like.

Twinkle's last day of school is Monday. We'll be starting reading (and math review) on Tuesday. Lots of pages to digest this summer.

Hey! I'm Alive!!!

2009-03-24T16:08:00.003-06:00

Yeah. I just haven't been motivated to post lately. I have people asking for pics from our trip on my other blog. That was only 3 months ago.

Bullet points for now? ('cept I don't know how to make actual bullet points)
- Twinkle is still ever so Twinkly...which includes sweetness and arguing and silliness and tenderness.

- Sparkle is sparkling more and more every day. She's really blossoming. More people than just myself can understand her. She's such a happy little child. AND she's trying to give up naps - not so wonderful.

- I'm feeling constantly worn down by both of them. I know that I do in fact LOVE love to be called "mom" in all its forms, BUT OMG!!!! the sound of "mom" and "mommy" REALLY grate on my nerves sometimes because they are never ending.

- Hey, guess what! I became a stereotypical soon to be 40 year old and went in for a tune up. I never thought I would do such a thing. BUT here I am with boobs that may not be able to hold a pencil under them once they're healed. They're probably a little bit better size for my small frame, too. I also got rid of a pooch of fat under my belly button that I've had since I started developing, so...Jr. High? Not gonna miss it. I was feeling quite secretive pre-op, but now that I have bruising from swelling on my arms and legs I've come out. I REALLY wanted to come up with a good story to explain the bruises...fought a bear? fell down the Grand Canyon and survived? fell down some stairs? I'm 2 weeks post op and have been told not to go nuts buying clothes or anything for about 10 more weeks.

- I've been feeling closer to my friends and family lately. The other day, I actually called my mother - gasp. Don't get me wrong, we have a wonderful relationship, we just usually email or talk on birthdays, etc. I think I'll start calling my mom more often. I've been willing to do normal ol' friend stuff with more people. Playdates, just hanging out doing nothing. I think I'm most comfortable with others when they expect nothing from me. Is that odd? I would much rather sit with friends and chat while our kids play than plan some big outing or do anything that involves a schedule.

- And finally, today while IM'ing with Mr. S about random things, he asked if I was OK. Not because of anything negative I'd said. He asked BEFORE I told him that I was going to start dinner without him by going ahead and eating some chips and queso and drinking some whiskey. Strangely, even though we've been married 20 years (or maybe because we've been married 20 years) it was the sweetest thing I'd "heard" all day. Now that I think about it, I'm pretty sure it sounded so wonderful because MOST of the time, I'm wondering if anyone can hear the words coming out of my mouth.

OK. I think bullet points are not supposed to be long paragraphs, but these weren't real bullet points anyway. They were little dashes. And now I feel so much better because I've posted on my blog, I've gotten the therapy that I started this blog for in the first place, and I'm a little more relaxed....until the basketball that Sparkle is playing with hits the piano anyway.

You're Never Too Old To Learn

2009-02-17T16:20:00.002-06:00

It's not even 4:30 pm. Boy am I tired.

Really?

I've learned two things today. One of them I already knew, but chose to not pay attention to my instincts. The other is not something that should surprise me.

The first - If it seems like your two year old is too quiet, run, don't walk, to where she is. Don't think, "Hey, it seems too quiet. I'll check on that in a minute."

My girly girl, Sparkle, decided this morning that she needed to open some lotion and put it on. (Thanks, pre-school, for perfecting those fine motor skills) Not a big deal. BUT given the amount of time she had, it wasn't pretty. She came to where I was. She smelled oh so good. She had lotion on her hands, arms and face, but not a ton. It just wasn't rubbed in. The office smells good too. That'd be because Sparkle decided that the panes on the french doors were a bit dry and needed a nice coating of lotion as well. So did the desk. I'm hoping that the dog was able to steer clear, though she could stand to smell a little better.

The second is ALMOST exactly the same thing. Almost. Sparkle has been fighting naps lately. Every now and then she'll take a great nap in the afternoon. I am not one to give up, so she gets an opportunity every day to take a nap. USUALLY, it's a good thing when she finally stops playing/singing and gets quiet in her room. USUALLY, it means she's gone to sleep.

Not today. Today, she started knocking on her bedroom door after a small stretch of silence. One in which I thought she was asleep. I went upstairs to get her, opened her door and thought...actually said, "WHAT's that smell?" Not a normal stinky baby smell. Just an odd smell. I looked over and saw a bottle of lotion. Not sure how she got it. The bottle was covered with white. I thought she'd had another lotion party, but the smell wasn't right. And the texture/consistency wasn't quite right. I started wondering if large quantities of lavender lotion would smell that way. At the same time, I also wondered where she would have gotten a tube of white acrylic paint, because that is what it felt and smelled like.

Luckily, I suppose, it was not paint. It was zinc oxide paste. The heavy duty kind. Paint may have been better. She had zinc oxide on her face and hands, in her hair, on shelves in her room, and any number of other places I haven't found.

Currently Sparkle and Twinkle are in the bath tub. Sparkle because she needed it and Twinkle because she can't pass up a potential bath. You know, zinc oxide is made to not wash off easily. I can't WAIT to wash her face. It will be so enjoyable.

I guess the upside is she shouldn't get any moisture related rashes anywhere AND she should be protected from the sun.

Healthier Kids

2009-01-26T14:45:00.003-06:00

I need mom advice.

Whenever Twinkle's behavior is off, my gut reaction is, "she needs to eat healthier food." I'm working on having healthier snacks available at home. Now I need help with school food.

I've fallen into a pattern with school lunches of picking various prepackaged foods and dropping them into her lunch box. Some of them "seem" healthy, or at least not unhealthy, but I do wonder about what has been done to that food and how healthy it really is.

We are vegetarians, so I can't send a turkey and cheese sandwich to school with her. I send milk and cheese to school, but I'd like to send more protein with her. The girl doesn't really like peanut butter/jelly sandwiches. I used to send a boiled egg, which she likes, but I need more variety.

Help! How do you keep you kids healthy?

What Do They DO When We Aren't Here??

2009-01-12T11:11:00.003-06:00

Mr. S and I just returned from a week in paradise to celebrate our 20th anniversary. It was wonderful. Very relaxing and quiet and ... aaaahhhhh. [Name that movie: "And we're off....to Haiti!" "Not Haiti!...Tahiti!]

While we were gone, the 2 sets of grandparents split the time staying with the girls. I find interesting all the things we find in our house after they leave.

For example, light butter. Not something the Swizzles buy. Why? The ingredients on our butter? Sweet cream, salt. The end. Light butter has 11 ingredients that are marked with an asterisk that says, "ingredients not found in regular butter" like water and modified food starch and tapioca maltodextrin. It felt wasteful, but I threw it away. I couldn't feed it to the family (although they apparently ate it while I was gone). The other oddity about the butter? I bought a pound of "regular" butter a couple of days before we left. No idea how it was all used in less than a week.

Another oddity? A brand new, used once, jar of peanut butter. In the refrigerator. With 2 other jars of peanut butter already in the pantry. Alright.

2 loaves of bread, one with about 6 slices left and one about half gone. Despite the fresh loaf in the bread box in the pantry that we left. K.

TONS of leftovers in the fridge no matter how small. A washed empty sherbet container. (Mr. S's comment was "what kind of storage container-less lives do they live?")

Interestingly, we can tell who bought what. Mr. S's mom shopped at Kroger. Mine shopped at Target. All the Kroger store brand stuff - his mom. All the Target store brand stuff - my mom. All the things that make us say, "huh?" - his mom, but we would have known that anyway.

The thing is, this time before we left I went to the store and shopped for food to leave here. LAST time Mr. S's mom watched Twinkle while we were in China getting Sparkle, one of her many complaints was "there was nothing to eat." Pantry full. Fridge full, though not by her standards. I specifically went shopping simply because she complained last time, even though I knew we'd left her food. Problem solver that she is, she complained instead of...shopping for food.

This time, I guess she thought we did not have things that we did, though she did not complain about it. I can't help but think she left here thinking that WE are odd for not having various items of food that we did, a stocked diaper bag (we did, but she grabbed a big shopping bag and put all the essentials and then some into it), bath wash for Sparkle (she couldn't see it) and all sorts of other things.

I can't help but think that she is so unfamiliar with our house, where things are, etc. because she visits so rarely. But there's also the probability that she wouldn't know even if she lived here. We always leave instructions for everything from what days the girls go to school to how to operate the television, but she doesn't look at those or listen when Mr. S tries to explain a few things while we're still here. No matter how easy we try to make it, we just can't cover everything.

After being married 20 years, I'm used to this. They are merely slight annoyances and kind of amusing at this point. Mr. S's mom is a rare bird. She has lots and lots (and lots) of quirks, but she is the most giving person you'll ever meet. Whether it's actually something you want or not. You'll take it and you'll like it.

So, what's up with you?

It's a Good Thing They're Cute

2008-12-12T17:24:00.003-06:00

It's been quite a week.

Sparkle is being 2 and testing to make sure that I mean everything I say. If I say, "NO, don't touch that." She smiles and looks at me and slowly inches her hand toward whatever it is. Guess what! She found out that the glass on the fireplace gets hot! Just like mom and dad said. Luckily, she has super quick reflexes and didn't get much of a burn.

Twinkle on the other hand isn't testing everything I say. She, apparently, is totally deaf to the pitch and tone of my voice. Can't hear me at all. This is as annoying as Sparkle testing me. They both aren't listening. Sometimes I wonder why I even speak at all.

About half an hour ago, Sparkle asked for some chocolate milk ("cha mip" with a heavy emphasis on the p). I gave her a little bit of chocolate milk, which she thoroughly enjoyed.

Then she asked for more. I told her (without yelling) that I was not giving her any chocolate milk and not to bother throwing a fit about it and scream and cry that she wanted milk because I was NOT giving her any chocolate milk.

When I was finished, she looked at her cup and looked at me (the crazy lady) and said, "How 'bout zhoosh?" I smiled at her, told her that she asked very nicely, and poured her some orange juice.

Cheers!

2008-12-01T17:26:00.000-06:00

HOW long ago did she birth twins??

Happy Thanksgiving!

2008-11-27T23:21:00.002-06:00

We have traveled to the East and are celebrating Thanksgiving with both families.

Kind of...Mr. S's sister is holding some kind of grudge over some imagined grievance at the end of September and is "punishing" us by going to Atlanta with a friend for a week. ODDLY, she actually took her son with her instead of dropping him at the grandparents' house and traveling on.

It's been lovely.

Twinkle is spending the night tonight with my parents. My brother and SIL and their kids are there, so Twinkle is in heaven.

Sparkle is with us at Mr. S's parents' house. She is sleeping rather well on a cot in the same room as Mr. S and I.

I made a tasty mince meat pie an a decadent dark chocolate pie. My dad and brother both love the mince meat pie. My nephew does too. He just discovered today that it has BRANDY in it. It was really kind of funny seeing his face when I poured the brandy in with the dried fruit.

We will not be shopping tomorrow. We don't usually, but this year we are awaiting replacement credit cards because of fraudulent charges on the old ones. It's been an interesting experience needing cash to buy things like pie ingredients.

Now, I think I'm off to bed. Sparkle is sleeping well, but will no doubt wake me earlier than I'd like tomorrow.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Gift a Gift?

2008-11-10T12:47:00.002-06:00

When did "gift" become a verb?

Was it before or after "office" became a verb?

Is Martha Stewart responsible?

Why not use "give"?

Just wondering.

Things That Made Me Go Hmmmmm Today

2008-11-05T22:34:00.003-06:00

Still feeling giddy and hopeful.

These are a few things that made me shake my head today...in different ways.

Heard on NPR:
"I'm terrified. I think he's going to appoint people that blow things up."

"I didn't vote for him...that whole not putting his hand over his heart during the National Anthem just really bothers me." (um...never mind)

And something that I can't say I've ever seen before:
After dropping off Twinkle at school, I was driving Sparkle to school. Something caught my eye. I saw a hawk flying about 5 feet off the ground, like a line drive...carrying a squirrel in its claws (but somehow parallel to it's body). This was not a small squirrel. It looked almost like the hawk was second guessing its ability to fly away with it. Preferring not to think about what awaited the squirrel, I couldn't help imagining the squirrel thinking, "What the....I'm a flying squirrel!! Look at me!!!!"

Do all of these things tie together? I might need some tequila to see the connection.

What will tomorrow bring?

Believing

2008-11-04T23:34:00.001-06:00

Awestruck. Excited. Hopeful.

Call Me Crazy

2008-10-23T17:11:00.003-05:00

OK kids, I need some advice or insight or random ramblings off the top of your head.

To say I don't know where the idea came from would not be true, I am just not sure I can believe that I got onto this train of thought.

Mr. Swizzle's mom left a message last week asking for some help. A friend's grandson's girlfriend (why not?) is in need of baby things. Pregnant. Due in January. Absolutely no support except for boyfriend's grandmother. MIL was calling to see if we had anything we were finished with that we'd be willing to give. I told her that I'm pretty sure we still have Twinkle's stroller/infant seat combo, if the baby's a girl we can outfit her for a year, and that if Sparkle wasn't still using the crib, she could have that too.

THIS is what got me thinking. I guess we COULD go ahead and get Sparkle a big girl bed. It's not like she's confined to her crib anyway. When we got Twinkle's big girl bed, she was old enough to voice an opinion about what she wanted and Sparkle is not there. Yet.

Here's the crazy part. I started wondering about getting bunk beds and putting the girls in one room. We don't need to do this for the space, that's not an issue. I DID put in a lot of time painting Sparkle's room before she came along and I'd hate to lose that.

All that said, I do remember feeling "lonely" at night when I was a kid. It doesn't make a whole lot of sense for those who are afraid of the dark to be sleeping alone, when the adults, who theorhetically aren't afraid of the dark, get to have someone else in the room with them.

Twinkle is constantly saying that she doesn't like sleeping alone and wishes there was someone there with her. I don't think Sparkle has gotten to the stage to notice yet. I've told Twinkle what I'm thinking about and she didn't go gaga one way or the other. Maybe because I REALLY watered it down to a very low possibility and I didn't mention the whole "have someone with you in your room at night" part.

So, am I crazy? I have no experience with this as a child or as an adult. I only had an older brother growing up and we had our own rooms. Would it be nice for them to have each other in the middle of the night? Would it be bad for them to have each other in the middle of the night? I know it isn't long term and that Twinkle would probably be ready for her own room again in about 6 years. Could this be a nice little bonding experience for the girls?

Help.

Or Perhaps Three?

2008-10-02T12:15:00.003-05:00

There are so many brave souls with more than two kids, I just had to make this. (AND I've already had 2 orders for them). I also bought smaller letters so that more than one name will fit on a disc.

I have more things on order. The possibilities are becoming endless.

Here's my store.

Passing on an Email

2008-09-29T12:13:00.005-05:00

I received this in an email from a friend the other day and thought it was pretty cool. In case you haven't figured it out yet, I love things that are to the point.

Dear God, I pray for the cure of cancer. Amen

In memory of anyone you know that has been struck down by cancer or is still living with it.

Sigh

2008-09-19T10:26:00.003-05:00

I fear my blog is turning into a political one. But, hey that's what's swizzling in my head right now.

I will attempt to control it.

I just have to say, this made me want to knock my head against a wall:

"We must act now to protect our nation's economic health from serious risk," Bush said at a White House press conference. "There will be ample opportunity to discuss the origins of this problems. Now is the time to solve it."

Um, no. We must act 6 months ago to solve it when you said there was no problem with the economy, Mr. President. I don't think the discussion of its origins is going to be a very long one.

Ugh.

That's Just Ridiculous

2008-09-18T08:47:00.002-05:00

OK, I am no fan of Sarah Palin. You may have guessed that. Take, for example, the t-shirt I just bought:

But I must say that this is about the dumbest headline I've seen yet this campaign season.

Palin's Frameless Glasses a 2-Month Wait

What does that have to do with anything? That just tells me she's patient when it comes to fashion.

Why WHY can't we just talk about the things that are important and relevant?

It's Never Too Early to Shop for Christmas!

2008-09-16T17:29:00.002-05:00

My latest creation that I'm really proud of. You can see more about it here.

Gaaaalveston...

2008-09-14T16:55:00.002-05:00

Let me start by saying sorry, I have that Elvis Costello song, "Alyson", in my head for some reason - hence the odd spelling of Galveston.

We usually head to Galveston every other summer or so with another family and rent a house at the beach for a week. We didn't do it this summer, I'm wondering if we'll do it next summer.

I saw this picture online this morning. See where it says "tattoo" in the upper left corner of the picture? Yeah. That's where I got both of my tattoos. At least it appears that it is still standing. All of the debris is from the little shops (and the Hooters) that were built across the street on the sea side of the sea wall, aka the WRONG side of the sea wall.

I've been looking for pictures of the west end of the island which is past the end of the sea wall and is where we usually rent houses.

Galveston is no Florida white sandy beach. You can't really see your feet if you're standing in two feet of water. But I love taking our kids there with our best friends and their kids. It makes me sad to see this. But, Galveston will resurrect itself. And it will be like it was before. I have no doubt about that.

Anger Induced Shopping

2008-09-04T21:27:00.002-05:00

Is that wrong? I'm just feeling a little fed up today. So I bought a few things I've been meaning to buy.

A shirt.

Another shirt.

A bumper sticker.

And a bracelet.

I guess it's just that it's the first time in years that I'm actually excited about a political candidate. I realize that not everyone shares my enthusiasm. I live in Texas, after all. I'm being open minded and all that.

But I've been stewing all day about a comment made a week ago by my best friend. She said she and her 13 year old daughter were watching a little bit of Obama's speech Thursday night. She said, "I kept telling A (her daughter) he's a baby killer." I think she was slightly kidding, but not really. You know, kidding on the square.

Mr. Swizzle can't believe it's bothering me a week later and says to let it go. And yes, I need to let it go, because my stomach hurts. We've been friends for 19 years and we've, wisely, never discussed politics. We've always known not to discuss politics. They are Catholic, and apparently one-issue voters.

But, grrrrrr. I just have to get it out. That term just gets under my skin! I told Mr. Swizzle that she might as well have called him "the N word". It bugs me that much.

Must let it go...must let it go....must let it go.... I need you guys to help me breathe.

Lessons from the Seven Year Old

2008-09-03T20:24:00.002-05:00

A recent exchange in the middle of Target:

Me: sigh Twinkle, why do you have to act so...goofy?

Twinkle: Because that's the way I'm made, mom.

It really made me laugh, but it also reminded me that she is indeed "fearfully and wonderfully made."

That's my girl.

A Little Bit More "It's Not a HUGE Deal"

2008-08-30T13:54:00.002-05:00

Just an update on Sparkle's echo.

Her doctor called on Friday afternoon and said that Sparkle has a Ventricular Septal Defect. You can read all kinds of information in that link. The condensed version is she has a hole in her heart between the left and right ventricles. They are usually found in infants and they usually close on their own.

Apparently this is the most common congenital heart defect found in infants. Somehow that doesn't make me feel better.

We will be going to the pediatric cardiologist who read the echo and put in her report to "follow up in two months". OK. So that tells me it isn't urgent. This cardiologist is also the one that Mr. Incredible recommends, so I have no worries about her knowledge and skill.

Outwardly, Sparkle shows none of the signs that are usually associated with this defect. She doesn't show signs of poor circulation. Heaven knows she doesn't tire easily. She doesn't normally have trouble breathing. I have wondered if our previous foray into the world of nebulizers was related to this instead of some asthma-ish problem.

Onward we go. I'm not constantly dwelling on it, but I do have some sore shoulders! I'll probably go ahead and schedule the appointment. Who knows? If I call now, it might be two months before we can get in anyway.

Thanks for your continued prayers and thoughts.

Thanks!

2008-08-26T20:54:00.002-05:00

Just a word of thanks for all the prayers and positive thoughts today. Sparkle did really well at the hospital. Which is saying something.

We got there at 12:30 as instructed for our 1:00 appointment. Everything was smooth sailing. At 1:30 the assistant head of radiology came out to the waiting room to apologize for the wait and to explain that the "regular" person wasn't in today, and the back up was down at a hospital in the Big City. He would be at our hospital in 30-40 minutes, but that meant more waiting for us. We decided to go ahead and wait instead of rescheduling and were given meal tickets for the cafeteria.

I will insert here that yesterday I had a stiff neck and went to bed last night at 8:00. From about 2am on, I didn't sleep very well, and ended up "getting sick" around 6am. So, I was quite a picture today and not feeling so great. By the time we went down to the cafeteria, I was feeling a bit better, but could not even contemplate eating. The children were distracted by food, and everyone was happy.

The asst. head of radiology came down as Mr. S was paying and said that there was in fact someone at the hospital who was free to do Sparkle's echo. He told us not to feel rushed eating and that she would be available whenever we got back to radiology.

She was indeed ready for us when we got back. Sparkle was amazingly still for the whole thing, sitting on my lap. I could see the 4 chambers of the heart and the valves working, but other than that, I couldn't tell you anything of value.

Our echo will be read by a pediatric cardiologist tonight or tomorrow and our doctor will get a report in a day or two.

Sparkle and I both napped when we got home. I'm feeling better tonight and even ate some Nilla Wafers. I may go have something else. Sparkle is doing great and is her usual self. She is now in bed and will go to school tomorrow for 1/2 of her normal time. Next week she starts full time, which for her is half days on Wednesday and Friday.

Tomorrow, I'll have an entire 1.5 hours to fill all by myself. Well, part of that will be driving back and forth to the school. What will I do with the rest of the time?!

OK. I'm Not Fretting Over Tuesday

2008-08-24T20:33:00.003-05:00

Nothing like a trip to an emergency care center to take one's mind off of a scheduled hospital visit.
Poor baby. Playing chase with Twinkle. As she ran past Mr. S, she grabbed his leg with her hand like you would to swing around a vertical pole and slammed full force into the corner of an end table.

You can't really get a good feel for the swelling from the pics. The doctor assured us that she would look worse in the days to come as all the blood around the swelling moves South because of gravity. The good news is the gash (my viewpoint - it is my baby) isn't deep enough to warrant stitches or even glue, and she has no fractures around her eye.

I happened to be in the next room when it happened. I was trying to be laid back and not be annoyed by the happy sounds of my children running screaming through the house. I heard the collision and Mr. S say, "Oh my God!!" before scooping up Sparkle and carrying her to where I was. She had barely even started to cry. It was kinda scary.

She handled the whole thing extremely well. We dropped Twinkle at a friend's house and took Sparkle to make sure that all was as stated above. As mentioned in the previous post, when she first came home, she HATED doctors. She allowed this doctor to examine her eye and even clean it to see how deep the cut was. Mr. S took her to the xray room, but I didn't hear any screaming so I think she handled that well, too. She's acting like her chipper dare devil self.

At the time, I was freaked out. Now, I look at those pictures, especially the second one, and can hear her say, "You want a piece of me?"

Say a Little Prayer

2008-08-23T23:06:00.002-05:00

The first week of school went pretty well. Thursday was a little difficult with the homeschooling. It seemed for most of the day that there was no sound coming out of my mouth. At least, judging by how my children reacted to my speaking to them.

Friday, I took both girls to the doctor for well checks. Twinkle got herself all worked up over getting a shot. Last year at her well check, she was supposed to get a shot, but the doctor was out. Apparently supply was low. She said it was no big deal and could wait until this year. Twinkle, being Twinkle, remembered every word of what the doctor said and did NOT want to go to the doctor this year. Obviously, she lived through it. She cried for about 30 seconds then went back to the space book she'd been reading.

Sparkle did really well. The last few times she's been to the doctor, she's started crying when they weighed her and didn't get much better until we were in the car on the way home. Friday she was perfectly fine being weighed and measured and waiting for the doctor. She even interacted pretty well with the doctor. Of course, she wouldn't let the doctor look in her ears. Maybe some day, someone will have no trouble peeking into the poor child's ears.

The doctor was happy with both girls' growth and general health.

There was one thing that came up that made me give this post the title I did. Sparkle has a heart murmur. The doctor assured me that it was quite common in children, but that Sparkle's was kinda loud and she wanted to refer us for an echocardiogram just to check things out. Sooo, we will be going to the hospital on Tuesday to get Sparkle's heart looked at. (Gee, saying like that made me tense up a bit.)

I talked to Elastigirl, Sparkle's Godmother, and she also assured me that it was likely no big deal. Being Elastigirl and such a great friend, she said she'd try to get Mr. Incredible, Sparkle's Godfather who just happens to be a cardiologist, to "try to be around" on Tuesday when we're there.

I haven't really stressed a whole lot about it over the weekend. I'll probably be a bit tense on Tuesday, but that's just me. Hopefully, having homeschool with Twinkle will not add to the stress, but will provide a bit of distraction for the morning.

So, say a prayer for the Swizzles as we face this common, probably nothing, stressor on Tuesday.

Guess What I Did Last Night

2008-08-19T13:43:00.003-05:00

OK. I realize that having that title and then a pic of Trent Reznor is kind of comical, but what are you going to do.

Anyhoo, Mr. Swizzle and I went to a Nine Inch Nails concert last night in the Big City. Yes, we felt old. Especially looking around at all the goth teenagers. But hey, Reznor is a couple of years older than Mr. Swizzle, so we know we weren't the oldest ones there.

It was a great. Lots of songs I didn't know. Some that I did and love. A fave NOT performed, but that's ok. It was a 2.5 - 3 hour show and clearly they couldn't do everything. One of the fun things for me was watching the mosh pit. These kids (I'm so old) were jumping around enjoying the music and crashing into each other with wild abandon. I'm positive they are all bruised today, but I'm not positive that they can feel it or if they care.

Two things went through my head as I watched them. One was that if I were 19 and a huge NIN fan AND had floor tickets, I think I would have joined them. They were clearly enjoying themselves. The other thing was that if I'd had been in a NIN mosh pit when I was 19, I would be in a totally different place than I am at my age now. Who knows where'd I'd be or what I'd be doing.

I'd hate for the moshers to give up their leather and mohawks, but I hope they survive to adulthood and don't live on the street.

God, I'm so old.

Returning to Normal?

2008-08-11T15:27:00.002-05:00

The summer flew past me. Twinkle's first day of school is August 18. We didn't have a lot of things to do this summer. Not a lot of different camps or classes to take the kids to. Somehow, though, I was too busy to blog. Go figure.

Hopefully, once the kids get into a school routine, my blogging will return to more than once a month posts.

Did you notice that bold s on "kids"? Yep. Sparkle will be going to Montessori school at our church for 4 hours a day, 2 days a week. That will definitely be interesting. She will have the same teacher Twinkle did, but will be in a different classroom. Thanks to the growing needs of the school, the "classroom" that Sparkle will be in is the same room where she goes to the nursery on Sundays. I think that will be a good thing. We shall see.

Twinkle starting next Monday means that homeschooling will start next Tuesday. Time to put that Prozac to the test! I haven't screamed at my kids much since I started taking it. I also haven't had to try to teach Twinkle. One thing that will be different this year is that Sparkle no longer naps in the morning. Last year, Twinkle and I got a lot done while Sparkle was asleep. I'm in the process of rearranging a few things in the office/school room that will hopefully help. I'm going to make a space for Sparkle to color or do puzzles, etc. hoping to keep her occupied instead of trying to push Twinkle out of her chair.

I'm not sure where the summer went, but I sure wish that the first day of school automatically meant cooler weather! Our summertime temperatures often last through September. I can't wait to be able to go outside again for an extended period of time!

New Jewelry!

2008-08-07T09:05:00.002-05:00

Go check out my latest entry on my jewelry blog. I'm pretty excited about it!

"That's Annoying" #462

2008-07-15T17:01:00.003-05:00

THIS picture sparked rumors that Eva Longoria-Parker is PREGNANT?! WTF? I cannot form a coherent, non-f-bomb laced sentence.

Do You Read?

2008-07-10T16:22:00.002-05:00

I love books. If you don't believe me, you should see all the filled to overflowing bookcases in my house.

As I typed that I had a flashback of the bookcases in my parents' house growing up. They built bookcases to attempt to hold everything. In the house where they live now, they had built-ins with tons of shelves put in, and they still can't hold everything. Growing up there were shelves and shelves of National Geographics next to the shelves and shelves of Reader's Digest Condensed books. I know they still have the condensed books, I'm not sure about the National Geographics. (Note to grade school self - the National Geographics are NOT to be used when cutting out pictures for school projects. Yow.)

Anyway, back from that tangent...all of my adult life I have loved to read. I loved to read as a child, too, but I've heard myself say this phrase one too many times lately - "I was supposed to read ____ in high school/college, but I didn't." I guess the classroom discussions were enough to do well on the tests.

I have read all of the Harry Potter books at least 2 if not 3 times. I have a friend who just does not get reading a book more than once. After you know how it ends, why read it again? I've stopped trying to explain.

Since having children, especially the toddler now running around, it has become more difficult to just sit down and read a book. I had all but given up. Not that that stopped me from BUYING books. Mr. S once gave me grief for buying so many books. I told him to be glad that my vice was books and not crack. I could go to the library I suppose, but I've never gotten into that habit. Maybe I'll have to put some serious effort to that in the future - once I read all of the purchased, yet unread books.

I, like my dad, have trouble getting rid of books as well. I'm getting better about not holding on to paperbacks forever. Thank God there is somewhere like Half Price Books that will take them off my hands. I couldn't bear to drop them in the recycle bin. It may be time for another trip there.

Just recently, though it took me at least a month and a half, I read Crime and Punishment. One of those "I was supposed to read"s. Wow. I said to Mr. S, "This is a REALLY good book." Of course, you know what he said. "Um, maybe that's why it's a classic?" Duh. Having just finished it, I wish I could go back to that college class that assigned it and participate in the discussion that I just sat through at 20.

I've just cracked open another Dostoevsky - The Idiot. When I bought it, I also bought a book with 5 or 6 Oscar Wilde stories in it (not condensed). That should be fun. I'm truly excited to be spending more time reading, again. I grab minutes here and there whenever I can. Slowly but surely, I'll make it through these books and look forward to more.

One of these days, maybe I will keep a list on the side of my blog keeping up with what I've read. MB does that, and astounds me at the amount of text she has gone through so far this year. How do you DO that?! She knows she reads freakishly fast and readily admits that, but yeeshk. Just take a peek at her list.

I'm thrilled to have Crime and Punishment in/as my list of books read in '08. Maybe I'll finish another book or two by '09.

Out of the Mouth of Twinkle

2008-06-13T12:35:00.002-05:00

Anxiously waiting to get out of the van at a birthday party:

"[exasperated sound]! You're going to drive me to Greek!"

I don't recall ever telling her, "You're going to drive me to drink", but it's entirely possible.

I'm Feeling Much Better Now

2008-06-11T20:59:00.003-05:00

OK. I may break one promise. This post isn't going to be as "Grrr" as I thought it would be.

Last week, the girls and I went to visit my parents. It was a great visit. Oddly, it's always hard for me to leave. Even with all of my parents' little idiosyncrasies, I really enjoy spending so much time with them.

It's a pretty good time of year to visit my parents. Every year Mr. S takes part in a production put on by the Bar of the Big City. Last week while I was visiting my parents, he was having rehearsals every night and not getting home until 10. Saturday and Sunday he had rehearsals all day. This week he has rehearsals until late at night and the show starting tonight and ending Saturday night. All of that means we see him for breakfast each day and that's about it.

We headed for my parents' house after lunch on Monday. With it being close to a 3 hour drive, I was a little concerned about how Sparkle would be on the trip. The girl really doesn't like to be in the car for more than about 30-45 minutes. Whether it was luck, divine intervention or good timing, she slept for almost 2 hours of the drive. Hooray!

Sleeping at my parents' house was a different matter. Sparkle does not like the pack 'n play. Really. Really. Also, since she's so limber and quite the little monkey, she climbed out of it in no time. When she demonstrated her ability, I decided I needed to stay in the room with her to keep her from climbing out until she fell asleep. Ugh. The first night, this was a 2 hour task. She just stood in the pack 'n play wanting out and crying.

The second night, it was only a 30 minute job. I thought, "All right! I can do that." Then she woke up twice that night which meant that I had to repeat the process to get her back to sleep each time. I napped the next day.

The rest of the time, she continued to require close to 30 minutes at bed time and woke up at least once a night as well as not napping during the day. Now, there are those out there who can testify to how cranky I get when I'm tired. I must get my 8 hours. Night after night, of interrupted sleep only builds the crankiness.

We returned home on Saturday afternoon. It WAS nice to be in my own bed and to have Sparkle back in her bed. I slept really well. Sunday afternoon, Sparkle decided that it was just as easy to climb out of her crib as it was to climb out of the pack 'n play. The only difference is that the crib is a 3 foot drop. Sunday night, Mr. S got to follow the routine I did at my parents' house and stayed in Sparkle's room until she fell asleep. Again, in the middle of the night, Sparkle woke up and was awake for a couple of hours. All told, I got about 5 hours of sleep Sunday night.

Monday morning, Mr. S converted the crib to a toddler bed. I felt so unready. I was NOT looking forward to being the only one putting her down for naps and night times every night this week with her freshly in a toddler bed. UGH! That's actually quite tame compared to what I said.

Monday night, she climbed into her bed. We read a couple of books and turned out the light. Then I sat in her floor for an hour to keep her from climbing out. After that hour, when she was still awake, I thought "What is wrong with me? Poor Twinkle has been sitting by herself for an hour. That's so unfair to her." I got up and left Sparkle's room. She cried for about 3 minutes and stopped and slept all night.

I also slept all night. Tuesday I was thinking much more clearly. I decided that her room is baby-proofed, what does it matter if she gets out of her bed? The reason for keeping her in her bed was to keep her from falling 3 feet from the side of her crib. At this point, I'm thinking of her entire room as her bed.

Tuesday at nap time, we read a couple of stories and I left her in her bed. I realized it's OK if she gets out of her bed. Why should I worry about her getting up? She can't get out of her room. It's OK! (This is a sure sign that the meds are working) She did get up and play in her room for about 30 minutes, but then she got quiet. I couldn't resist checking on her. I peeked in and she was indeed asleep. Not in her bed, but in her rocking chair. Hey, whatever works.

Tuesday night, I don't know if she got out of her bed, I don't know where she slept, but she slept all night. And I slept all night.

I'm crossing my fingers that this will continue. It would be quite nice. Mr. S and I were talking on Monday trying to remember what we did with Twinkle when we switched her to the toddler bed. I still can't remember, but this seems to be working for Sparkle...for now.

Promises, Promises

2008-06-08T21:19:00.002-05:00

I promise I'm still alive.

I promise I will participate in Elastigirl's meme tag.

I promise I am going to post within the next day or two.

I promise that post will be a bit "GRRRR."

I promise I appreciate each and every person who visits me here. Even if it is just the one.

Back soon. Promise.

Mrs. S

I've Been a Mother of Two for a Year

2008-05-14T17:13:00.002-05:00

Today marks the one year anniversary of Sparkle being given to us in China. I think in years to come we'll celebrate the day in some special way, but this year I don't think she'd notice. We've played a lot today and I've taken lots of pictures, but that isn't so different from any other day.

It's been quite a year. Memories of that day are just like memories of giving birth. The sights and sounds in the room. Other families being formed at the same time. Being anxious all morning leading up to the moment. Heck, being anxious for the 2 years prior.

I expected to feel a little bit like I was babysitting someone else's child at first. After all, there's a bit of a difference between having a newborn, and being handed at 9.5 month old. I really prepared myself for not feeling connected or wondering when this kid's parents were going to come get her. (I did wonder that after giving birth to Twinkle). But from the moment I saw her, I knew she was mine. I'd seen a picture of her and stared at it for 2 months, but that was nothing compared to seeing her across the room.

I remember saying to Mr. S when they brought her out, "That's her!" I can't remember if he looked at me like was crazy or said something like, "Yeah" like I was crazy, but I'm sure he thought the heat was affecting my brain. I mean we were standing in line and we were next and they were bringing babies out of the other room - of course it was her. I can't explain it, but to me, it was HER. SHE was the reason I was on the other side of the planet. Getting her was like getting a piece of my heart returned to me.

I don't know why, but she has been mine from the beginning. I've never doubted it for a minute.

If you'd like to take a peek at my non-anonymous side and see video of "the moment" you can do that here.

Here's to Cocktails

2008-05-11T16:02:00.002-05:00

I had an appointment with my doctor on Friday to get my happy pills refilled. I have to go in every 6 months for them to make sure everything is working OK. I told my doctor that for the most part I am feeling better than before. I know I've accomplished some things that I wouldn't have otherwise.

I also told my doctor that some days I wonder if they sent me sugar pills. On those days, I've mentioned many times on here, I feel annoyed by the smallest thing and once I'm annoyed with one thing, it snowballs all day. They are things that, as am ranting about them, I know are not things that I should be annoyed by. The children's laughter getting louder and louder, for example. My doctor suggested adding a "tiny, baby dose of Prozac" to my Welbutrin. Apparently Prozac has many uses these days ranging from the kind of irritability I'm experiencing to irritable bowel syndrome. Seeing it written out like that makes me wonder what I'm saying about myself.

Anyway, I know many of you commented before that I should talk to my doctor and that some kind of combination may be helpful. I just waited until now to do it. I'm 2 days on the Prozac and have to go back in about a month and a half to report back. I have my fingers and toes crossed that it will do the things she said it could.

Enjoying being with my children AND not screaming? Sweet.

Who Likes Free Stuff?

2008-05-08T10:21:00.001-05:00

Head on over to Alyson's. They are having lots of fun over there. And you can even win stuff.

Good News!! Jesus Lives Next Door!!

2008-04-30T19:07:00.002-05:00

I just have to get this out.

This morning, GND did ride with us to school. On Monday, when her mother drove both to and from school, GND did not talk to Twinkle, she read a book. So, this morning Twinkle took a book in our car, just in case GND didn't talk to her again. The book she chose? "How to Be a Friend" She wanted to show it to GND. Yeah, well....

I told Twinkle that she could not sit there next to GND and show her all the sins in the book that she believed GND has committed. I was in the house when they got into the van. When I got in, Twinkle was saying, "GND, you blamed me for something that I didn't do and that isn't being a good friend. You said I ______ and I didn't." GND responded that either she didn't say that or that Twinkle did do whatever it was. She probably said both which... well... nevermind.

They went back and forth and I told Twinkle to stop doing that and just read her book. Twinkle, of course, had to say one more time, "You DID blame me for something I didn't do." GND's mother who was standing there by the door of the van said, "GND doesn't do that."

Hold on while I growl at the memory of it again.

OK, WTF? So many things went through my head for the entire drive to school and back ranging from "Is she an idiot?" to "Why would you stick your child with that?" It seems like a lot of pressure to me. "Why would she say that in front of the child?" "Is she a habitual liar too?" And over and over, "WTF?!"

What do you do with a mother like that as another mother? Part of me wanted to go over and chat with her and ask what if anything GND told her about Sunday. I wanted to tell her what happened and point out that ALL kids do things at one time or another and why on Earth would she think her child was different? I, as is my personality, wanted to just go over there and talk to her or smack her until she saw the light!

I'm also just bewildered that GND is the one acting like Twinkle wronged her. I just want to say, "Do you understand that Twinkle is the one that by all rights shouldn't want to talk to you?" But then the other part of my mind says, "Wait. Wait. Let her sulk. Twinkle would be better off without her."

Ugh... Yet another chapter in the saga. The upside is Twinkle and I have been playing together a lot over the past few days and I'VE been having a blast!

My Turn!

2008-04-28T10:50:00.003-05:00

Yep, yesterday was MY turn...I was the one who lost my sh*t.

Actually, I was in control the whole time, but I'd just had enough. I yelled at GND. It, sadly, felt kinda good.

Let me give you a bit of a mental picture. Our driveway is in the front of our house. We have a sitting area inside the house that has French doors that look out onto a porch and the driveway beyond.

Twinkle, GND and a little boy, D, were playing outside yesterday afternoon. At one point, Twinkle seemed a bit upset because the other two were playing catch and she wasn't, but I knew that would pass soon enough and wasn't anything major.

About half an hour later, I heard the kids playing in the driveway and looked out through the blinds on the French doors. The nice thing about this is that I can observe without being observed. Twinkle was sitting on the porch and the other two were riding their scooters in our driveway. OK, no problem.

Then I hear Twinkle say, "Guys, can you get off my driveway. I want to be alone." I thought that sounded a bit rude, but wanted to see how things played out. The next five minutes were filled with Twinkle asking over and over that they let her have some time alone and go play in the cul-de-sac. Each time she'd say this, GND would smile at her and say something along the lines of "we want to play here" and she'd ride her scooter in circles right in front of Twinkle and sometimes around her. D, wasn't leaving, but he also wasn't taunting Twinkle. He was just riding his scooter further up the driveway away from Twinkle and GND. Twinkle's voice got louder each time she asked them to leave until she finally started crying. GND still with her little smile continued her circles, pushing me over the edge.

I think I can recall what I said word for word. I opened the door and said/yelled, "GND THAT IS ENOUGH!! She has asked you, like, 20 times to let her have some time alone and to go play in the cul-de-sac. You're just doing that to be mean to her and you're doing it to get THAT reaction (pointing at a crying Twinkle) and that is ENOUGH! Now, go play in the cul-de-sac and let her have some time alone. I've had enough of you doing that!"

I think she was a bit stunned at first, but by the time I finished she had such a hate filled look on her face. She narrowed her eyes at me and if looks could kill, I'd have been lying on the floor of the sitting area. She turned and rode her scooter out of the driveway and into the street - I think D may have left before I finished yelling. Twinkle looked at me and said, "Thank you, mommy."

I brought Twinkle in for a few minutes and gave her a hug. I explained to her that I may have just ruined her chances for playing with GND or D for the rest of the day. I also told her that she didn't need to play with GND anyway, because there's no reason for her to put up with someone treating her that way. She stayed in for a few minutes then decided to go ride her bike, whether they played with her or not. A little later I looked out and saw Twinkle and D riding up and down the street.

Mr. S, who had seen the storm coming, had taken Sparkle and the dog out into the backyard about the time the yelling started. He told me later that he'd seen Twinkle and D go over to GND's driveway and that they seemed to all be talking nicely. At one point, Twinkle saw Mr. S in the backyard and said something to him which made GND's head whip around to see who she was talking to.

Twinkle came back at one point and said that GND told her that she was never going to play with her again and that she wasn't allowed to play with her. Yeah right. I told Twinkle that she may not play with her for the rest of the day, but that GND would get over it. I also told her that if she didn't get over it, that was ok too because, again, there is no reason Twinkle should play with someone who is mean to her. D, who was behind Twinkle said, "I'm not mean to her." I told him I knew that and I appreciated it. So, Twinkle and D went off to ride scooters and bikes and ended up playing with two other kids in the cul-de-sac and GND wasn't around for the rest of the afternoon. You know what? Twinkle didn't whine or cry once the rest of the day. Hmmm.

I spent the rest of the afternoon cleaning up the living room. I figured it was a better use of my energy than terrorizing the neighborhood children. I was also waiting for a call or visit from GND's mother that I assumed was inevitable.

She did actually call to say that she needed to take GND to school this morning, and that she would still bring Twinkle home this afternoon. I, blinded by my anger as Mr. S put it, assumed that GND wasn't interested in riding with me this morning and that I'd be taking Twinkle to school. As it turns out, that was a bit of miscommunication because GND's mom came over this morning to get Twinkle and had kinda thought I hadn't understood that she'd take Twinkle this morning. I had already told Twinkle that if GND wasn't nice or wouldn't talk to her in the car this afternoon that Twinkle shouldn't get all upset about it. Just let it go. She assured me she would....

So, here we are. GND's mom acts like nothing happened. I wonder if GND mentioned it to her and if she did what version of events she told her. I'm thinking about sitting outside and reading in a lawn chair the next few times the kids are out playing. The days are so nice, after all. As I told Mr. S, GND needs to just assume that I'm close by and I've got my eye on her. I think she knows now that I'm not going to put up with much.

Power Tools and Ice Cream

2008-04-22T17:10:00.001-05:00

Sunday was a lovely day.

We began it with all four of us eating kolaches on our screened porch. We don't eat the kind with meat in them. Not even the ones with fruit in them. NO. The Swizzle kolaches (that we buy, not make) have chocolate or cream in them. It's one of the few breakfasts when I don't really feel a need to sweeten my tea.

We made it to church on time. We had lunch at church because the youth were having a fund raiser. They made burgers, including patties for us vegetarians. I about fell out of my chair laughing when Fr. D, sitting next to me, said, "Ugh! I got one of those Boca things!"

We came home and settled in for a relaxing afternoon. Twinkle went out to play. Around 2:30, Twinkle came in and said a family across the street, who were outside, had some ice cream and invited her to have some. I said yes, no problem. Ah, what a day.

Around 4, I heard a disturbance in the driveway. I opened the door, and Twinkle was crying and saying, "R is going to tell on me..." and various other things that I couldn't understand. R is a boy who lives in our cul-de-sac and is a few years older than Twinkle. He isn't the gentlest of people. He's the kid who was nuts as a younger kid, but seems to be mellowing out.

R is behind Twinkle trying to explain himself. When everything quiets down, I finally heard that Twinkle and GND "needed to build something." OK. Sounds fine. To build whatever it was, they took Mr. Swizzle's case of drill bits and the huge case with his big, powerful (cordless) drill in it over to GND's driveway.

Part of why Twinkle was crying was because, "Dad's screwdriver is broken. It won't work!" Can I hear a "Thank you God"?! The battery was run down. Thank you! R, being a boy in his early teens recognized the danger and came to let me know.

Now, I must say, neither of us have ever explicitly told Twinkle that the power tools are dangerous and that she must not touch them. We have NOW, but I can't blame her much for thinking it was a good idea. She and I had a chat, during which she calmed down and I told her she had to tell her daddy. Then her daddy came outside to mow the backyard and she lost her sh*t again. She calmed down again and I fed her the words for her to tell him what she'd done.

This wasn't really a major ordeal, looking back at it. She was greatly sorry and truly didn't have comprehension of the danger associated with her actions. I told her that she could stay outside and play, but not to ask for any more than that - like ice cream from the truck they could hear in the neighborhood.

Twinkle assured me, eventually, that she would not ask for ice cream if the truck came down our street - even though she really, really, (really) wanted some. Off she went, back out to play. I went back inside and called my mom to tell her about Friday's conversation and about the events of the day.

While we were talking, I heard the ice cream truck. It actually came down our street. "Poor Twinkle", I thought, "She's standing there watching it go right past her. She's probably going to have another meltdown." I told my mom that I needed to go and let Twinkle know it was time to come in.

Can you see it coming?

I went over to GND's driveway to find GND and Twinkle eating ice cream. I didn't scream!! GND's mom was standing there with them. We chatted a bit. GND's mom was holding a couple of dollars and asked the girls whose money it was. I said, "It's not Twinkle's. She didn't have any. I guess it's GND's." GND shakes her head, "No. That's Twinkle's money. It was in her pocket." Her mom was handing the money back and forth between me and GND. I finally took it and said, "Well, it's mine now." I wonder if/when GND is going to ask Twinkle for her money back.

As Twinkle and I entered the garage to go into the house, I said, "I hope that is really good. I want you to really enjoy it, because you are not going outside to play Monday or Tuesday." This set her off again and she actually yelled, "NO! I DON'T WANT TO ENJOY IT!" I told her if she stopped eating it and threw it away (she really hadn't eaten much) she still couldn't go outside on Monday, but we'd see about Tuesday. She started walking to the trash can eating as fast as she could. She opened the trash can and actually continued licking the thing as it got closer and closer to the trash can.

After she dropped it into the trash, she started begging to be able to go out Monday and Tuesday. I repeated Monday was a definite no, and Tuesday was a maybe. This caused her to start jumping up and down screaming, thereby ensuring Tuesday was a definite no.

When the smoke cleared and the tears stopped we had a conversation. We covered the outright disobedience pretty thoroughly. We talked about GND, and how she knew Twinkle was not supposed to have ice cream. Apparently she told Twinkle that the ice cream they'd both had earlier really wasn't very much.... Isn't that nice? We talked about the fact that GND likes to get Twinkle in trouble. Twinkle said, "GND made me get in trouble." Mr. S quickly corrected her. He said, "GND led you up to the door. She even knocked and ran away, but you walked through the door all by yourself."

When it comes right down to it, no matter what pressure you're under, no matter what actions others take, the decision is yours and yours alone whether you're going to do the right thing. It's your decision and your consequences or reward.

How many times will I repeat this to Twinkle? At least as many times as I repeat it to myself.

Like Sands Through the Hourglass...

2008-04-21T17:22:00.003-05:00

The soap opera continues....

Well, sort of.

I love the cul-de-sac we live on. It's teeming with kids. When everyone is outside, it's fantastic. This is the first year that I've really appreciated it, probably because I'm finally comfortable with Twinkle going out the door to ride her bike. I peek out every now and then, but I certainly don't feel like I need to go out with her.

Friday afternoon, most of the kids were out and so were some moms. Sparkle was napping so I wandered out to chat. (so unlike me, really) The woman that lives across the street, B, is my kind of person. She is great with kids. She is also straight-forward, doesn't put up with crap and she'll tell you how it is. If you don't want to hear that, yes your child does burst into tears way too easily, don't ask B.

B has a daughter who is in 4th or 5th grade at the same school Twinkle and 2 other families on the cul-de-sac attend. She was talking about a problem her daughter was having with a girl at school. Apparently the girl at school told B's daughter that she couldn't hang out with her anymore because she wanted to be invited to another girl's house. Nice.

I told B that my problem with Twinkle right now is that she'll believe anything that Girl Next Door (GND) tells her. I've posted about GND before. The girl gets under my skin. The fact that she watches me out of the corner of her eye whenever I'm outside with them doesn't help. Anyway, I mention this problem to B and she says, "Well, anything GND says is a lie."

Whaaa???? Could my instincts be right? B and GND's family have lived on our cul-de-sac for a while. I think they both lived here when their kids (now 8-12) were born.

I question B a little bit and she says that the child is a habitual liar. The whole "so and so said ___ about you"? she does that to B's daughter too! (Apparently she also tells B's daughter she's fat which is so ironic if you saw the two girls).

B also said, "But don't try to take it up with her mother. Her mother will tell you that GND NEVER lies."

I said, "Twinkle just told me that exact thing, word for word." You know what I told Twinkle? I told her that I'd never say that about her because we are all human and we all make mistakes and we all tell a lie every now and then. I also told her that I can't imagine a mother saying that about her child.

So I left the conversation wondering how to approach this with Twinkle, but also feeling pretty good about my gut instinct.

That was Friday. Let me tell you about Sunday.

Fever

2008-04-16T09:55:00.002-05:00

Spring fever? Organization fever? (Thanks Elastigirl)

Nope actual fever. It's been an extremely long time since I've actually run a fever.

Monday, my allergies were bothering me a little bit. Elastigirl came over and helped me turn my pantry into the 8th wonder of the world.

Yesterday, we had a great homeschool day and completed everything quickly. Thankfully! Because I went downhill after lunch. My goal yesterday afternoon was to keep Sparkle from eating thumbtacks, so my afternoon was a success. Mr. S got home around 7 and I went to bed at 7:15. Of course, I had hockey on because, hey it's the playoffs!

I wandered back downstairs after the girls were in bed and chatted and watched hockey with Mr. S for about an hour, then went back to bed - with hockey still on.

I'm feeling better today. I'm not feverish, but my face hurts. Hopefully, Sparkle and I will have a relatively easy day. Fingers crossed.

What's in a Name?

2008-04-07T13:41:00.002-05:00

This post actually started out as a comment to Heather's post over at Cool Zebras about picking a name for her new little one who will be debuting next month. I decided to just write my own post instead of taking up so much of her comment space.

In her post, Heather discusses the desire to give her children names that are not too common, but also not too off the wall. I hear her! Anyone who knows us knows that we felt the same way when naming our children.

Even though we didn't know Twinkle was going to be a girl, we settled on a name pretty easily. As I recall it anyway. We didn't have any boy names picked out, so we got lucky there.

With Sparkle, since we were adopting from China, we were pretty certain that she would be a girl. We had a more difficult time choosing a name for her. When we first started the adoption process, I was amazed at the number of people who already had a name picked and embroidered on blankets. Let me tell you, as someone who didn't want her child having the same name as many others in her class at school, this desire was compounded by being part of the China adoption community. It seems like there are just a handful of names that most girls adopted from China are given.

Anyway, why did we have the trouble we did naming Sparkle? For one thing, we knew she'd already have a name and didn't feel comfortable taking that from her. For another, I wanted to at least see her face before we picked a name. I didn't feel that way when I was pregnant with Twinkle, so I can't explain why that was, but it just was.

True, we discussed possible names long before we saw her face, but "the list" had at least 15 to 20 names on it. After we received her first pictures and we needed to actually start filling out paperwork with her name on it, we decided we needed to buckle down and decide. It was on an airplane flying back from New York about this time last year that we finally settled. And it was a name that wasn't on the big list that I'd made over many months. It was a name from a list Mr. S made in his Palm Pilot before Twinkle was born. A list that I didn't know existed.

The name is perfect for her. It has many nicknames, but none are bad. We kept her Chinese name for her middle name. When she's older, I wonder if she'll go through a period of time deciding what SHE wants to be called.

So, How Was It?

2008-04-03T11:57:00.005-06:00

MB has nudged me to remind me that I haven't posted in over a week.

Our trip was wonderful, though too short. Because of flight delays, I didn't get into the city until about 5:30 Friday night. No worries. Mr. S had scored a room we may never see again. The hotel had messed up his reservation and he managed to get a room that, according to the room service guy, had the best view in the hotel.

Being on the top floor with windows facing 3 directions, I'd say he's right. Like I said, I don't think we'll see that room again. Oh, and yes, I managed to go into the bathroom and close the door without anyone opening it. Both bathrooms.

It was nice to get away together and see friends that we see about once a year.

I guess I haven't been posting a whole lot because I've been feeling a bit melancholy and didn't want to write another melancholy post.

I'm not sure why I'm feeling this way, but I know it will pass.

The Freedom of the City

2008-03-25T15:23:00.002-06:00

Mr. S and I are going to NYC this weekend sans the two lovelies pictured in the previous post. Actually Mr. S is leaving tomorrow and I'm joining him Friday. We'll be back on Sunday.

I've been contemplating what we should do while there, and I've had several ideas. You know, shop, go to a museum, wander Central Park. All of the usual things. We may do any or all or none of these. BUT, this morning I was struck by an idea. Something I WILL do while in NYC. Are you ready? I'm going to use the bathroom with the f-in door closed!

Our bathroom downstairs has a sliding door and the lock doesn't work so well. There's nothing like your 20 month old opening the door and leaving it open AND trying to climb onto your lap whilst you're using the facilities.

TMI? Sorry.

At any given moment at home, I have Sparkle on my lap, the dog at my feet and Twinkle hovering behind me. Yes, I know it sounds odd, but I'm looking forward to a little SPACE in NYC. I've been there many times, so yes I know there's really no such thing as personal space anywhere. But, I know from past experience that I will feel less claustrophobic in that crowded city where you can't always see the sky because of the tall buildings than I do in my own home.

I hope that this trip will be as rejuvenating as it has in the past. I (and Mr. S... and Twinkle...and Sparkle....and the dog....) need it!

A First

2008-03-24T19:34:00.003-06:00

I don't think I've done this before on here, but since I enjoy seeing others' kiddos on their blogs I figured I could do it. Just this once.

Twinkle

Sparkle

Put on Your Bunny Ears!!!

2008-03-22T20:12:00.004-06:00

Just Kidding.

It's Easter weekend. As head of the altar guild at our church, Holy Week means I'm busy, busy, busy.

On Maundy Thursday, after the foot washing and Eucharist, everything is taken from the Sanctuary.

On Good Friday, there is only a black cloth on the altar.

Today, everything that was taken out on Thursday had to be put back. Guess who does that....the altar guild. It's not that big of a deal - when enough people show up. I guess putting in the email this year that "Fr. D has expressed some concern about the low attendance" for this job over the past few years wasn't the motivation I thought it would be. Still, the job this morning is one that I, strangely, enjoy most. Today was a bit different. I've been stressing over a piece of cloth all day. A piece of cloth that was last in my hands to be washed and pressed and taken back today with 4 other pieces of cloth. These five pieces of cloth make up the interior of the "tabernacle" where the blessed elements are kept. It's kind of important cloth.

Anyway, I spent a great part of the day incredibly stressed because I couldn't find this cloth! Guess what. I found it 15 minutes before tonight's service was scheduled to start. At my house. Sigh. And ugh.

Tonight, is the wonderful Easter Vigil service where the light is brought back to the world, or at least our Nave. It's a fantastic service. Since it begins in darkness, it starts at 8pm. 8pm, the same time as the kids' bedtime. This would be the down side of all of your babysitters going to your church.

So, I'm at home while Mr. S is at the service. I sent the piece of cloth with Mr. S to the service with specific instructions that it be given to one of two people so that it can at least go in its place before tomorrow morning. You know, when you've stressed about one specific thing for almost 12 hours, it's kinda hard to stop.

Even though it is now 9:30, Twinkle is still up. You know what is on TV?? Of course you do. It's on every year. The Ten Commandments! Moses has yet to be called by God to deliver the Israelites. Whew. I just got to utter a sentence I never thought I'd utter, but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Twinkle asked, "Is that God talking?" Me: "No, honey. That's Charlton Heston. He's definitely not God."

Ah, the stress may finally be leaving my body. That comment may have just been the thing to do it. Is there anything that can't be fixed by joking about Charlton Heston?

Epiphany #482

2008-03-19T14:58:00.002-06:00

My Children Annoy Me More When I'm Actually Trying to Accomplish Something...

I have known this for a while, but I'm reminded of it daily. Today started off just fine, until I tried loading the dishwasher after breakfast. Sparkle wanted to "help". I just wasn't in the mood to continually take knives out of her hand - dirty ones at that. I went from pretty serene to tense and frustrated in about 30 seconds. The problem is, once I get on edge, it's hard to go back to serene. So, the trip to Target, and a couple of other stores was tinged with annoyance. I was annoyed by the wind, for heaven's sake.

I'm really working on ways to 1) not go all the way to extreme annoyance so quickly and 2) getting back to serene more quickly and easily.

Tips?

Etsy Artist of the Week

2008-03-17T16:28:00.002-06:00

Go check out my etsy artist of the week on my jewelry blog. Too cute!

Noise Comes in Many Forms

2008-03-13T14:13:00.002-06:00

It's been building. And building. The mess, oh, the mess.

I've been a little lax the past couple of weeks with various housekeeping tasks. And since I'm pretty lax to begin with, you can only imagine how things have been around here. Part of the reason for this, as I'm sure every mother feels several times during her life, was the fact that it seems I'm the only one trying to stay ahead of the mess....picking up toys, dishes, shoes, toys....

To his credit, (his extreme credit) Mr. Swizzle has cranked through laundry and about every stitch of clothing in the house is clean. It's all piled in our bedroom floor, but it's clean.

Tuesday night, it got to me. I told Mr. Swizzle I wanted to rent a Bobcat and drive it through the house. Well, instead of doing that, I worked my butt off yesterday and cleaned...the kitchen. Didn't even make it to the dining table that's technically part of the kitchen, but by heaven I CLEANED the kitchen.

You know what? The house, well the kitchen at least, seems QUIETER today. Hmmmm. I've know that visual chaos affects my mood. I didn't know that it makes everything louder.

Maybe tomorrow, I can move the silence into the living room, or better yet MY room!

Our President...A Master...

2008-03-07T17:03:00.002-06:00

of understatement...

Just saw THIS CNN headline:

Bush: 'Economy has slowed'

Ya think? What was your first clue, Einstein?

(Sorry Mr. Einstein)

What a Strange Week

2008-03-07T11:56:00.004-06:00

I keep having to remind myself that it is indeed March. Here in Texas, we don't usually see things like this in March.
That was yesterday before it really started accumulating. Now that I think about it, we rarely see that kind of thing at all. Actual snow? Big fluffy flakes of snow? Usually, if we get anything white in winter, it's ice. So this was truly surprising and pretty fun (since I didn't have to go anywhere). We got several inches of snow yesterday. Twinkle played and played in it. When she came in, she was soaked to the bone on her legs. We don't really keep a supply of snow clothes for reasons stated above. She had on jeans with leggings underneath and two pairs of socks. But, she was CRAWLING AROUND in the snow - the better to make a snowman apparently.

This is today.

This picture does not adequately capture how beautiful it is outside. The sky is so blue. The birds are singing. I wonder where they spent the day yesterday. I went out to take a few pictures and thought, "Wow, in two days we've had what takes a few months for people North of us." Pretty white snow everywhere yesterday. Now it's all melting away and you can almost hear the flowers and trees sighing in relief.

Twinkle has soccer tomorrow. It's supposed to be in the 50's and clear. Hopefully it will look a lot like today, but with drier ground.

I've heard rumors it's going to be in the mid-70's on Monday.

I love living in Texas.

Chin Up

2008-03-05T09:35:00.003-06:00

I'm keeping my chin up.

I'm a bit disappointed with last night's primary results here in the Lone Star State. I really thought Obama would pull it off AND I was hoping he'd pull way ahead in the delegate count.

I just believe in his sincerity. He seems to have the characteristics that so many people have been wanting in our political process for so long. Maybe I'm naive too or I've been duped. Yes, he has his faults, but I believe he can turn our country around so we don't have to be embarrassed overseas to "admit" to being Americans.

On we go!

Don't You Hate It...

2008-03-03T13:34:00.003-06:00

I know we've all done it before, but that doesn't lessen my annoyance level. I'm annoyed with myself, not anyone else.

Twinkle's school opened up enrollment for electives for next school year a week and a half ago. I looked at it last week and everything was still open. Today, I went to her school for a presentation and the principal told me that classes were filling up, so get home and sign up!

When I got online after getting home, almost ALL the classes were filled. Sigh.

The way things work at Twinkle's school is that Fridays are the days they do electives like art, music, drama, etc. There are 6 different choices and 4 time slots to fill. I looked at it last week and just didn't sign her up! Grrrr.

Anyway, I ended up only being able to sign her up for drama and PE. I didn't want to sign her up for PE at all. I wanted drama, art, science and Spanish. She's enjoyed all of her classes this year (though she had PE instead of drama) and I know she'll miss them next year.

I'm just so annoyed at myself for not doing it last week. I've asked about a waiting list, but haven't heard back yet.

I need to just let the annoyance go. It's kinda messing up my day. Just let it go. Everything will work out...

I just feel like I really let her down. I have no one to blame but myself.

Ah, The Balance of the Universe

2008-03-02T16:05:00.003-06:00

It's been an interesting weekend here at Chez Swizzle.

Yesterday, Twinkle had her second soccer game of the season. She's been working really hard at practice and it paid off yesterday. She rarely gets her foot on the ball, but yesterday she had some great passes, took the ball down the field, and she scored her first goal!

Now, I know, I know. I basically was dragged into this role of soccer mom kicking and screaming. And I admit that when friends have told me in the past about their little ones scoring their first goal, I thought it was cool, but I didn't understand the pride behind it.

It is only Twinkle's second season of playing soccer. I recognize that. But we've just been hoping for her to get into the thick of things and play the game instead of watching when she's supposed to be playing. I honestly didn't expect a goal yesterday. But she did it. She stuck to the ball and kept it away from others and put it in the goal. I'm not sure what the final score was. I know we won. I know Twinkle's goal was #9 and I know there were a few after hers. I almost stopped watching the game after she came out at the end of the 3rd quarter.

Mr. Swizzle and I both got a little misty eyed.

TODAY. Hmmm. Today the universe has sought to equalize our weekend. Twinkle has been whining about things and arguing since breakfast. We actually made it to church, though about 15 minutes late. AND we left early. Why? Because even though Twinkle was chosen to be one of the kids to carry the elements to the altar before Eucharist, all she could do was whine and cry that she had to carry the bread instead of the wine. She did do her job and came to us and we left. We just couldn't handle more.

That, of course, made her scream and cry all the way home. Even though she was complaining beforehand about going to church, it was a tragedy that she had to leave. Once she gets going, she has a hard time stopping. She's been asleep for a couple of hours now despite saying she wasn't tired. Hopefully the rest will help and the rest of our day will be relatively peaceful.

Really, after we got home it was just a whole series of proofs for Murphy's Law. Twinkle was not happy. Mr. Swizzle was making pasta (and getting the cork out of that wine!). When the pasta was done and he was getting it out of the pot, his spilled quite a bit onto the floor - luckily not on himself or Sparkle or the dog. Then, before the food made it to the table (or the wine to my lips) Sparkle fell and busted her lip. It was kinda nasty.

What kind of mother am I? The first thing I did after picking her up and seeing all the blood coming out of her mouth was take off the cute dress she'd worn to church! It is a loaner after all. We don't need blood all over it. After getting the bleeding to stop, I went back to my wine and my lunch which was less than warm. Sparkle ate a little bit, but was more interested in being snuggled.

Now, the rest of the family is napping and I'm blogging. Gotta get everything out. Hopefully, I can catch a few winks before they all wake up!

Check Out My Etsy Artist of the Week

2008-02-25T09:57:00.001-06:00

Go over to my Little Shop of Baubles blog and check out my etsy artist of the week!

It's Been a Good Week

2008-02-22T16:35:00.004-06:00

The title says it all. We've had a pretty good week here at Chez Swizzle.

It actually started getting better last Friday. I took Miss Smarty Pants' advice and set the timer for 15 minutes several times during the day to get things done. I'd used Flylady.com before, but I just thought of it as a way to keep my house clean. It never occurred to me to use it as a way to get me off my butt and out of a funk. They don't call her "Miss Smarty Pants" for nothing!

We had friends come over and play Rock Band (a usual Friday night). My friend has been having similar, yet different, issues to what I've been having. We went upstairs to make things while the hubbies and kiddos stayed downstairs playing. It was nice.

Saturday night, Mr. Swizzle and I went out without the girls. We went to a fund raiser for the Montessori school that is attached to our church and where Twinkle went from age 2 - Kindergarten. It was fun, with dinner, a silent auction, and a live auction. The live auction was particularly fun for me because I bought something that will always be dear to me - in a "what would you grab in a fire" kind of way. My friend, J, who we lost at the end of last year, painted icons. The proper term is actually "wrote" icons, but to be clear, paint is involved. This is similar to the work she did. Anyway, at the auction on Saturday, J's husband had donated one of her icons for the live auction. Apparently, not everyone in the room was aware that I was going to have the highest bid, and that they need not try. They did figure it out in the end. The icon came home with me and is placed where I see it every day. I'm thrilled and honored to have it.

On Monday, I discovered this lovely site. Apparently Twinkle is quite motivated by stickers and earning points and reward certificates. We made a "chore" chart that also included behaviors. All week, if she's talked back, all I've had to say is "Are you talking back?" (using the language on the chart). She says, "Oh, sorry", because she wants the virtual sticker rewarded on this program I've downloaded. Sweet. We've also limited her TV time and made a chart for that. Anytime she is having trouble listening, especially at home school, I tell her that I've asked her once, I'm now giving her her one chance and if she doesn't do what I ask, time will be taken off of her already limited TV time. So far, so good. I hope she continues to be motivated this way.

Tuesday, I took Sparkle to the doctor because she's been sniffly and a little congested. This is actually quite against my nature. Usually I think if a kid has a cold, there's nothing to be done but get through it and build up their immune systems. Who needs a doctor? But, Sparkle has had 2 asymptomatic ear infections in the 9 months she's been home. This is changing my opinion. Tuesday I figured why not have them peek in her ears. And yes, she did have some redness and irritation in her ears. The doctor was a bit more concerned with her breathing. She admitted it was hard to tell if the rattly sound was in Sparkle's throat or her chest. They took her pulse ox which registered at 90. They did this same thing back in August and were freaked that it was at 99 (not 100). So, we did a breathing treatment in the office which brought it up to 96. That's when the nurse told me that they usually admit the child to the hospital if it's under 92. Yeeshk.

She is better now, though she sounds worse because she's actually coughing gunk out of her chest now. Poor baby. One of these days I'll pick up on these things when they first start.

Last night, I was a major geek and actually recorded the Democratic Presidential debate. I'm more excited this year than I've been in a while about politics. It's so rare that the candidate hasn't been decided by the time the Texas primary rolls around. The primary is March 4, but I just couldn't stand it any longer and went to early voting today. Mr. Swizzle almost talked me out of it by telling me that the early voting votes are not counted until after the votes cast on primary day, therefore mine wouldn't be one of the ones counted the day of. But, I figured, what if I am ill, or Sparkle is ill or I get hit by a bus before March 4. Obama needs me....

So, I've been rambling. All of that to say that all in all, it has been a good week.

Thanks for all the advice and for "listening"on good days and bad.

EDITED TO ADD: Oh, Jeez Louise! I can't believe I didn't include what ended my weekend perfectly and started the school week perfectly. The FABULOUS Duchess and I went to get pedicures. It turned into pedis and manis and boy did the time fly! We were trying to figure out other ways they could pamper us to avoid having to go home!

Just Wondering...

2008-02-17T20:18:00.003-06:00

Can someone explain this headline to me?

"Cows Abused at Slaughterhouse"

Uh...... what's the story here?

There's video at cnn.com, but I'm certainly not clicking on it.

Erosion

2008-02-14T10:32:00.004-06:00

Several times over the past 8 1/2 months I've said, "I'm worn down." Just the day in, day out of survival mode with my 2 beautiful girls is tiring.

In the fall, I decided to go back on my "happy pills". Lately, I've wondered if they sent me sugar pills. Overall, I feel much better taking them than I did before. I know they are working. I've been able to do a lot of things that I know I wouldn't have before. Like play the part of a Bladder (glad that's over).

Today I find myself thinking, "I just thought I was worn down on those other days". Today is a homeschool day. We've done absolutely zero work today (at 10:40).

I'm just tired of fighting. I told Twinkle a couple of times this morning that we were going to have to work hard today so that we could make cookies this afternoon - before we go to soccer practice. She went upstairs and got dressed pretty easily. We got back downstairs, and I was dealing with Sparkle being everywhere at once, and Twinkle started watching a cartoon and I just couldn't fight anymore. Every time Sparkle wanders into the room where Twinkle is, she ends up screaming about something. Sometimes it is Sparkle's temper when she doesn't get what she wants and sometimes it is Twinkle doing something to frustrate her.

I'm just feeling overwhelmed today. With everything. This morning at breakfast, we opened V-day cards and presents. Mr. Swizzle is so much better at this than I am. I could have sworn I bought cards for the girls to give him when I was so proud of myself for getting Valentine cards 2 WEEKS ago. Apparently not. I also didn't manage to get him anything. Of course, he bought himself cologne earlier this week. I don't suppose that counts.

We were looking at the box of chocolates that Mr. Swizzle bought for all of us to share. 10 darks, 10 lights and 4 whites. 14, right? Uh. no. Where's my brain?

Maybe I left it when I backed into that post yesterday. Yeah, in my kick-ass minivan with a backup camera and beeping sensors, I managed to back into a post. It was totally an accident (obviously) and my van early warning system didn't pick up on it until it was too late. But I still feel like an idiot.

Right now, I'm amazed I've been able to string these sentences together. My stomach feels like there's a boulder in it. I can't focus. And I just don't have it in me to make my girls do anything they don't want to do.

Prayers for making it through the day.

UPDATE at 11:15: Twinkle came in to the office, sat down and did her grammar. I started talking to her very seriously about the possibility that this 2 days of homeschool thing isn't for us. That it stresses me and we fight too much. She shed a tear and said, "I don't WANT to go to another school, mommy!" So, I started talking about things we could both do to improve our homeschool days. Her eyes glazed over and she asked, "Can I go play my video games?" I chose the "don't blow up at the child and scare her to death and make my own head explode" approach. I said, "Go for it."

I just don't have anything left.

Shameless Self-Promotion....Kind Of

2008-02-13T16:24:00.002-06:00

I don't know what came over me, but I've gone and started another blog.

Yep. I know. I don't post here nearly enough. And I do have the other family blog with pictures of my cherubic children where everything is hunky dory for the family to read.

NOW, another one. But this one is different. It is a blog about my jewelry and about other people who sell items on etsy. So it will also have pretty pictures and may tempt you to visit a website where you could get sucked in for hours. Visit with caution ....Little Shop Of Baubles.

On an entirely different note, Riley is back. Hooray! You can click over there on the right to visit.

A Different Book Meme

2008-02-12T10:22:00.000-06:00

MB has tagged me for a different, more mother-of-toddler friendly book meme.

Pick up the nearest book of 123 pages or more. (No cheating!)
I am at my desk at home. The actual nearest books are Twinkle's school books. Only slightly further away is a shelf of MY books. I've chosen Beyond Good Intentions: A Mother Reflects on Raising Internationally Adopted Children

Find Page 123 and Find the first 5 sentences.

Post the next 3 sentences.

Our grandchildren may look as Tapodan as our children. [Tapoda is a made up country to represent any country a person may have adopted from.] As they seek out and find comfort in diversity, our kids may well find mates of other colors. Ponder the example of Camilla Pedersen, Korean born, raised in Norway, married to a man from India, living in the Untied States. In time, our families could look like the passengers on the New York subway. We would be wise to behave as if they already do.

OK, yes. That is more than 3 sentences, but I had to finish the thought.

Tag 5 people.
Let's see. I'll tag the Duchess, Elastigirl, and Heather. Yes. I know. That's not five. I've decided to reverse 5 and 3 today.

No. No! NO!!

2008-02-07T16:02:00.000-06:00

No... Stop it... Please stop doing that... Stop!... Come here!... No... No, please.... NO!... Stop...That's enough... Please stop it... NO!...Please sit down!...Don't climb on the table...NO!...Get down...Stop doing that!...NO!...NO!

I just thought I'd give you a peek into every 5 minutes of my day.

I mean really, how many times a day CAN someone say NO?

I guess I wouldn't make a very good Scientologist.

A Meme I Have to Think About

2008-02-04T10:04:00.000-06:00

MB has tagged me for a book meme. Wow. I'm flattered that MB thinks I read.

I want to assure her that I will participate, but I have to use my noggin a bit. I also have to ponder who/if I'm going to tag..... I might be you.

So Much Rattling Around

2008-01-31T16:40:00.000-06:00

I have so much rattling around in my head right now and I need to get it out. This post may not make a whole lot of sense. I'm positive it will be quite disjointed, but better my blog post than my brain.

Let's see.

I'm thinking about buying this shirt, only with red letters for leukemia. Wondering if I can wear it to church.
I had a dream about my friend J last night. It was interesting. We were at church at our knitting group (not that J ever went to one of those, she was in the hospital). In my dream, J was there. The thing is, the rest of us knew she was dead and shouldn't be there, but no one wanted to say anything or look at her too long for fear that she'd go away. But I couldn't help but just soak up the sight of her and didn't want to look away.

On the topic of loss, my brother sent me a link last week. My reaction to it surprised me. This is a satellite photo of where I went to school (2-9th grade). This picture means nothing to anyone reading this, but it makes me misty. All of the buildings north of the football field are where I spent several years of my young life.

Here's what it looks like now. All of it. Probably not the football field.
No, there wasn't a localized natural disaster in East Texas that you didn't hear about. Apparently, "they" decided to demolish all of the buildings. I don't know where the current Elementary and Middle Schools are. I don't know why the decision was made to tear these down. Asbestos?

Anyway, it made me a little teary eyed to see these. The guy who took them took before and after pictures and has about 1,000 on flickr. There were some interior shots - lockers, bulletin boards, etc. It's not like I was ever going to return to these buildings, but I guess they just felt like part of me. Odd?

A few weeks ago we found out that Sparkle's Godmother, Elastigirl, will not be continuing her journey toward becoming a priest. At least not in this diocese. She had interviews with the powers that be in December. The purpose of the interviews was to make the decision whether to approve her to continue in the ordination process. Are you ready? "They" (there "they" are again) decided that "they" did not perceive a call to the ministry in her. Anyone and everyone who knows her is stunned by this news, because her call is crystal clear to anyone with a brain (even if it's swizzled at times). Sadly, even though a lot of us thought things had changed in our diocese, I suspect that "they" are getting "call to the ministry" confused with "penis". That's all I have to say about that.

On a lighter note, somehow a friend of mine talked me into being in a very short play at church. It's called Body Talk. I'm the bladder. Yes, the bladder. It's basically about parts of a body fighting with each other; comparing them to the Body of Christ. I think I have the least lines, but most of them are snarky. Just hope I don't pass out. I don't like getting up in front of people. Adrenaline makes me dizzy. I'm sure it'll be fine. What better place to take a risk? The main reason I'm doing it is that I don't want my girls to have that same fear. If they take after their father, they definitely will not be afraid. Right now they certainly don't have any fear. I'm just trying to do my part.

OK. Breathing more slowly now. Brain slowing down. Thanks for making it to the end of the post.

These Are the Days of Our Lives

2008-01-21T21:20:00.000-06:00

So far, the soap opera hasn't amounted to a whole heck of a lot.

I talked to Twinkle over hot chocolate last week about how sometimes people can tell us things that aren't necessarily true. I told her that, for the most part, if someone starts a sentence by saying that "so-and-so said x about you", that as a general rule she shouldn't believe it. Period.

If the other person insists, that's OK. But unless she hears it straight from "so-and-so" it probably isn't true.

Then we come to the times that we hear it straight out of the horse's mouth. For this, we talked about teasing. Twinkle is actually familiar with this and used to call it "cheesing" as in, "Mom, are you just cheesing?" So, I have reminded her that people tease a lot.

We also talked about people just messing with her - like GND moving her sticks because it got a reaction. I said to her, "You know how sometimes you'll take a toy from Sparkle just to make her whine?" She kind of looked at me like, "How do I answer that? Do I admit...." So, I continued and told her that it was the same kind of thing. The best way to deal with it was to ignore it and not give them the reaction that they want.

This is easier said than done, of course. Why just today Sparkle was sprinkling milk onto her tray then rubbing her hands in it and then putting her hands in her hair. Why not? Have you SEEN what she can make Mom do when she does that? It's lots of fun.

As is usually the case when I'm trying to help Twinkle understand something, I'm reminded of lessons I need to remember as well.

Here's a Question

2008-01-17T17:18:00.001-06:00

Why do you think that Sparkle, when she sees my naked chest says the same word that she says for bottle?

I did not breastfeed this child. She was found when she was 10 days old. After that, I'm pretty certain she wasn't breastfed. Before that, who can say?

Why does she associate my chest with food?

And So It Begins

2008-01-16T09:54:00.001-06:00

I need opinions. I'll take opinions from anyone who has children, or anyone who has ever been a child.

I need to explain to Twinkle that she shouldn't believe everything people tell her (other than me and Mr. Swizzle, of course).

A little background:

Twinkle and the Girl Next Door (GND) have become pretty good friends. They play together often and we carpool with them for school two days/week. GND is 2 years older than Twinkle. She's been getting under my skin lately.

Example #1:
Twinkle, being who she is, collects things. Sticks, rocks, leaves, etc. She had put a couple of sticks on our front porch a week or two ago. Monday, when the girls got home from school they were playing a bit in the driveway while I talked to GND's mom. Suddenly I hear Twinkle whining and yelling, "no, don't do that!" Twinkle is my drama girl, so it sounded like her usual over-reacting. GND was walking away from Twinkle, carrying her precious sticks to throw them into the grass. GND's mom told her not to do that, and GND responded, "I'm afraid she's going to poke my eyes with them. She's swinging them around." My first thought was "Why are you standing close to her if she's swinging sticks?" What I said was, "Twinkle, don't swing the sticks. GND please put them back where they were." OK. Resume talking to GND's mom while watching the girls on the porch. Twinkle lovingly caresses her sticks, puts them where they "belong" and walks away. When she's about 5 feet away, with her back to GND, GND picks up the sticks and starts toward the yard. Twinkle turns around and starts yelling again. GND again says, "I'm afraid she's going to poke my eyes with them. She's swinging them around."

Ahem. I said, "GND, she wasn't close to them and she wasn't holding them. Please put them back. Twinkle, it's time for us to go inside."

Example #2:
Usually when we get to the school in the mornings, we are about 5 minutes early. We spend this time parked in the lot waiting for the doors to open. Twinkle and GND are allowed to unbuckle and walk around in the van. While doing this, they usually play with Sparkle a bit, who is still strapped in her seat. Often, GND will say in a loud enough voice to be sure I hear, "Twinkle, don't ______ Sparkle. She doesn't like that." Fill in the blank: tickle, blow raspberries at, get in her face, whatever. Today, she told Twinkle not to blow on Sparkle (which S likes, by the way) because she was blowing germs on her. It just seems like she's trying to get Twinkle in trouble with me. So, I ignore it.

As we pulled up for them to get out today, GND says, "Twinkle, I see you everyday at recess." Twinkle says, "I know. AF (another friend from across the street) talks about me." "Yeah," GND says. "She says you eat everything." (??? huh) She continues, "Yeah. She says she thinks you eat everything. You eat your chair. You're going to eat Sparkle. You eat sticks." (WTF? Eat Sparkle?) Twinkle says, "I do not. Tell her I don't do that!" As GND started to get out of the van I said, "Twinkle, she doesn't really think that." Twinkle said, "Yes she does!" I said, "Did you hear her say that with your own ears?" She said, "No. But GND told me!" With a kiss as she was about to get out, I said, "That doesn't make it true."

All of this has me thinking. Hmmm. GND went to Public School last year, but only half of the year because the girls in her class were mean to her. This year, the previously mentioned AF and other girls in her class at the homeschool school are mean to her. Hmmmm. What's the common denominator? I've started wondering if they are actually mean, or if she's made that up. If they ARE mean, is there something she does to them first?

GND's mom says that GND loves playing with Twinkle, because the girls her own age are not nice and the younger kids are. AF's mom says that GND doesn't like to play with AF anymore, because she can't boss AF around like she used to.

UGH!! It's a grammar school soap opera!

Sorry this post is so long. I just had to get it out.

I don't want anything I tell Twinkle to get back to GND or her mother as, "MY mom says you're a liar." I need to be careful, but I wonder what other things GND has told Twinkle.

Who Knew?

2008-01-11T17:38:00.000-06:00

Who knew that there would be more than one up-side to Mr. Swizzle doing laundry?

Last...let's say March...our washing machine stopped working all the time. The delicate cycle didn't agitate. The other cycles didn't seem to want to spin at the end. At the time, Mr. Swizzle said, "call a repairman."

I, being who I am, never quite got around to that. Then we went to China in May to bring Sparkle home and the rest between then and now is a blur. I've just been going in after each load of laundry and pressing the "spin only" button. Two minutes later the clothes have been spun and I put them into the dryer.

While Mr. Swizzle was home over Christmas, he did a lot of laundry. That alone is quite a bonus. But, somewhere around load 2561, Mr. Swizzle decided to get online and check out those new fangled front loading washers. He, being Mr. Swizzle, did a lot of research and narrowed down his choices to one or two and announced that we did, indeed, need a new washing machine. After all, ours is 18 years old and who knew if it could be repaired?

So, last week Mr. Swizzle went to the Sears outlet store and picked out a front loading washing machine with a few scratches on it. It was delivered Monday.

Monday was also our 19th wedding anniversary. And, as Mr. Swizzle said, nothing quite says "Happy 19th Anniversary" like a new washing machine!

The funny thing is, it's quite mesmerizing. Twinkle wants to sit and watch it through the clear door when I start a new load. I've also discovered that I can close the laundry room door and sit on the floor in front of the washer and have quite a Zen moment all to myself for at least a couple of minutes until someone figures out where I am.

Ah, it's the little things that keep us sane.

What Do Your Friends Do For You?

2008-01-09T20:26:00.000-06:00

Hmmmm. I don't mean that the way you're thinking.

I mean deep down, what do you get out of your friendships?

I tell you what (yes, I'm from Texas) I've been thinking a lot about this lately.

Earlier this week, my friend Elastigirl came over. Now, if you don't know Elastigirl, let me assure you that she actually is a superhero. I've never met anyone with a) so much energy and 2) such a great heart. She will do anything for you.

Elastigirl is Sparkle's Godmother. Before Sparkle was baptized, I was talking to her about having people over afterward, etc. She casually asked if I needed any help with food. I told her I hadn't even started thinking about it and she said, "let me do it." Not help. DO it. She did the shopping, brought over all the food, had everything planned out and said, "this is fun." Just the CONCEPT of me having to do everything she did for me for that one event makes me light-headed and a bit nauseous.

Tuesday when she came over, she brought lunch and Christmas presents for me and the girls. She had already taken her older son to school in the Big City and led the chapel at our church's school. While here, she had Sparkle on her lap while she was eating. She didn't think twice about Sparkle reaching over and picking up food off of her plate and gnawing on it.

But all of this isn't what Elastigirl does for me. Elastigirl makes me realize what a person can do if she only puts her mind to it, and she's been through some crap in her short 40 years. She also makes me ponder what kind of friend I am to others. (Not to mention how high-strung I am with my kids, but that's another post or ten.) Just ask the Duchess. I really suck at returning phone calls. Heck, sometimes I suck at even answering the phone!

I'm not putting all of this out there to brown nose Elastigirl or to have others say, "oh, you're a great friend." I'm just thinking. What do I do for others? What do I need to work on? I'll never be Elastigirl, but I wouldn't mind, every now and then, to be really proud of something that I can do for a friend.

Have You Seen THIS?

2008-01-07T15:45:00.000-06:00

OK. Really. I know. A post with just a link in it is no fun. But really. Click the link. WTF?
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/01/07/cake.irpt/index.html

How I Spent My Christmas Vacation

2008-01-07T09:59:00.000-06:00

Hey, it's 2008. What will THIS year bring? No babies, I can tell you that much.

Christmas was fun. Everyone got along. We didn't go anywhere. And I mean, even 30 minutes away to my brother's house. Everyone came here. That made things easier and, I think, less stressful.

Mr. Swizzle's mom gave us Best Buy gift cards. Now, usually if Mr. Swizzle is going to buy anything electronic, he's not going to Best Buy. He'll find some great deal on-line (and then get his credit card number stolen, but that's another story). So, it was actually quite an adventure trying to figure out how to spend these gift cards. Rough, I know.

Anyway, Mr. Swizzle decided to spend his on Rock Band for the PS3. For those of you not familiar with Rock Band, maybe you've heard of Guitar Hero? It's another video game that comes with a guitar and you play notes that pop up on the screen in the form of colored blocks that correspond to buttons on the guitar. Well, Rock Band is the same thing, except it also comes with a microphone and drums. It's lots of fun.

I decided that I was going to use my card for a Nintendo DS Lite. You know, for the brain games. Oddly, every Best Buy in a 20 mile radius is sold out. And they are sold out online. Hmmm. But Target had them. In pink. But my gift card was for Best Buy....quite a dilemma. What would YOU do?

Well, I bought a color printer at Best Buy and a couple of DS games. Then I went to Target and got the DS. Of course.

Getting a color printer should have been obvious from the beginning. Mainly because Mr. Swizzle doesn't see a point in having one and didn't want to buy one. BUT, once I decided that I was going to use my card for one, he DID want to do all the research he could and buy the best one.

All in all, it was a good Christmas for so many reasons. Not just getting to be frivolous with our gift cards, but spending time with family without feeling stressed. Getting together with friends. And having Mr. Swizzle home for a whole 2 weeks and not being ready for him to go back to work! Imagine....

Just Hear Those Sleigh Bells Ringling

2007-12-21T15:52:00.000-06:00

Jing, jing, jingling too.

Come on, it's.... OK, I'm done.

It's almost Christmas. Are you ready?

I'm pretty much ready. I think. All I have to do is wrap presents and make sure the church gets "greened" on Sunday. I bet, if I didn't show up, it would still get greened. Maybe we should try it and find out.... Hmmmm. No, I guess that would be wrong.

Mr. Swizzle has been off work since Wednesday. That's only two days ago. Seems like longer. What is today? No really. It seems like longer because of everything that we've accomplished in two measly days. OK, three if you count today. We've both been exhausted every night since Wednesday, I think because both of us have done more, or at least moved around more, than we do on a normal day.

My parents are arriving tomorrow. They'll be spending two nights here and two nights at my brother's house. Mr. Swizzle had offered the guest room to his parents Sunday and Monday nights, but they couldn't seem to decide/commit to staying with us instead of his sister 30 minutes away. His mom actually said, "Well, you know, we usually stay with her because she always has something that needs to be put together on Christmas Eve." Mr. Swizzle said, "Yeah, I can see that. 'Cause she's only 42 years old. I can see how you'd want to sleep on a fold-out couch in a living room with no privacy. That makes sense." (he doesn't put up with much anymore) So she said they'd think about it. He's talked to his mom 2 or 3 times to find out if they've decided. Today, I talked to my mom and asked if they could stay here Sunday night, instead of just Saturday night. She said sure and Mr. Swizzle called his mom and said the Sunday night ship had sailed. That's when he found out that his parents are coming into town on Monday and leaving on Tuesday. Okely-dokely.

Anyhoo, I'm sure the next few days will be fun. We're getting together with friends on Saturday afternoon and Sunday evening. Getting together with family, one way or another at some point. It will be interesting to wake up Christmas morning with only the 4 of us here with no grandparents. I suppose that happened two years ago when my parents were at my brother's Christmas Eve, because I know Mr. S's parents weren't here. It's all foggy. Could be the wine. Then. Not right now. Yet.

I'm really trying to take something away from losing Janet. Anything. I'm recognizing little moments that are truly dear and to be enjoyed no matter what. I should probably try to have fewer items on the "I wish I had...." list down the road. But then, life comes along with frustrating babies and in-laws and 6 year olds that must have ears full of cotton because I can't imagine how someone could... oh sorry.

Yeah. Life comes along. I'm trying, though.

Where To Begin?

2007-12-10T11:12:00.001-06:00

I've posted several times about my friend, J. This summer, she found out she had leukemia. She went into the hospital June 26. Aside from a short 1 or 2 day visit to her home, she has been in the hospital ever since.

Until today. Today she left the hospital. To use MB's eloquence, "Janet passed peacefully into larger life this morning just before 8:00 a.m."

At the beginning of November, she had a stem cell transplant. Around Thanksgiving, we received word that Janet would be leaving the hospital the following week. There was much rejoicing. Then, there was a delay. Then another delay. And another. Turns out that the leukemia, despite rounds and rounds of horrible chemo, never completely went away. Add to that, her body was slow to accept the new stem cells, and you end up here.

Friday I found out that the decision had been made to discharge her to hospice care. I was devastated. The general feeling was that she would not actually make it to today, when she was to have left the hospital. I've been bawling all weekend. I'm not alone.

J was so thrilled about our adopting Sparkle. On the Sunday before we left for China, J grabbed me by the shoulders, gave me a big ol' kiss and said, "You are so loved. We are all going to China with you. Go bring that baby home." She was at the airport to welcome us home and to fawn over Sparkle.

I'm so not finished with J. We had things to do. Laughs to share. She and her husband had all kinds of plans. Her daughter just had a baby girl (after 3 boys) in September. We all knew that she was going to get through this in her tough British fashion.

But, she didn't. And now, we are left with a gaping hole in our lives. She will be SO very missed by so many people.

The Reason for the Season - 2 Perspectives

2007-11-30T10:18:00.000-06:00

I sent this in an email to a few friends this morning, so if you received that email, I'm sorry for repeating myself. I was just really moved to use my brain this morning by the following chain of events.

First, I received an email from my sister-in-law. The title of it was "Shout Merry Christmas". OK, what's this about? The text is below. I read it, and it annoyed the bejesus out of me on SO many levels. What's Al Franken ever done to you?! It's so political and... well ... annoying. Sorry, mister dictionary has failed me again.

Here's the text:

*Twas the month before Christmas*
*When all through our land,*
*Not a Christian was praying*
*Nor taking a stand.*
*See the PC Police had taken away,*
*The reason for Christmas - no one could say.*
*The children were told by their schools not to sing,*
*About Shepherds and Wise Men and Angels and things.*
*It might hurt people's feelings, the teachers would say*
* December 25th is just a "Holiday ".*

*Yet the shoppers were ready with cash, checks and credit*
*Pushing folks down to the floor just to get it!*
*CDs from Madonna, an X BOX, an I-pod*
*Something was changing, something quite odd! *
*Retailers promoted Ramadan and Kwanzaa*
*In hopes to sell books by Franken & Fonda.*
*As Targets were hanging their trees upside down*
* At Lowe's the word Christmas - was no where to be found.*
*At K-Mart and Staples and Penny's and Sears*
*You won't hear the word Christmas; it won't touch your ears.*

*Inclusive, sensitive, Di-ver-si-ty*
*Are words that were used to intimidate me.*
*Now Daschle, Now Darden, Now Sharpton, Wolf Blitzen*
*On Boxer, on Rather, on Kerry, on Clinton !*
*At the top of the Senate, there arose such a clatter*
*To eliminate Jesus, in all public matter.*
*And we spoke not a word, as they took away our faith*
; * Forbidden to speak of salvation and grace*

*The true Gift of Christmas was exchanged and discarded*
*The reason for the season, stopped before it started.*
*So as you celebrate "Winter Break" under your "Dream Tree"*
*Sipping your Starbucks, listen to me.*
*Choose your words carefully, choose what you say*

Shout
MERRY CHRISTMAS,
Not
Happy Holiday!

So, yeah. Annoyed?

30 minutes later, I received an email from my mom, who had also received the above from my SIL. The subject line of Mom's email was "A Letter From Jesus". Also a forward. My first thought was, "Ugh. Here's another one." But I read through it.

Here's the text:

Dear Children,

It has come to my attention that many of you are upset that folks are taking My name out of the season.

How I personally feel about this celebration can probably be most easily understood by those of you who have been blessed with children of your own. I don't care what you call the day. If you want to celebrate My birth, just get along and love one another.

Now, having said that let Me go on. If it bothers you that the town in which you live doesn't allow a scene depicting My birth, then just get rid of a couple of Santas and snowmen and put in a small Nativity scene on your own front lawn. If all My followers did that there wouldn't be any need for such a scene on the town square because there would be many of them all around town.

Stop worrying about the fact that people are calling the tree a holiday tree, instead of a Christmas tree. It was I who made all trees. You can remember Me anytime you see any tree. Decorate a grape vine if you wish: I actually spoke of that one in a teaching, explaining who I am in relation to you and what each of our tasks were. If you have forgotten that one, look up John 15: 1 - 8.

If you want to give Me a present in remembrance of My birth here is my wish list. Choose something from it:

1. Instead of writing protest letters objecting to the way My birthday is being celebrated, write letters of love and hope to soldiers away from home. They are terribly afraid and lonely this time of year. I know, they tell Me all the time.

2. Visit someone in a nursing home. You don't have to know them personally. They just need to know that someone cares about them.

3. Instead of writing George complaining about the wording on the cards his staff sent out this year, why don't you write and tell him that you'll be praying for him and his family this year. Then follow up. It will be nice hearing from you again.

4. Instead of giving your children a lot of gifts you can't afford and they don't need, spend time with them. Tell them the story of My birth, and why I came to live with you down here. Hold them in your arms and remind them that I love them.

5. Pick someone that has hurt you in the past and forgive him or her.

6. Did you know that someone in your town will attempt to take their own life this season because they feel so alone and hopeless? Since you don't know who that person is, try giving everyone you meet a warm smile; it could make the difference.

7. Instead of nit picking about what the retailer in your town calls the holiday, be patient with the people who work there. Give them a warm smile and a kind word. Even if they aren't allowed to wish you a "Merry Christmas" that doesn't keep you from wishing them one. Then stop shopping there on Sunday. If the store didn't make so much money on that day they'd close and let their employees spend the day at home with their families

8. If you really want to make a difference, support a missionary-- especially one who takes My love and Good News to those who have never heard My name.

9. Here's a good one. There are individuals and whole families in your town who not only will have no "Christmas" tree, but neither will they have any presents to give or receive. If you don't know them, buy some food and a few gifts and give them to a church or charity which believes in Me and they will make the delivery for you.

10. Finally, if you want to make a statement about your belief in and loyalty to Me, then behave like a Christian. Don't do things in secret that you wouldn't do in My presence. Let people know by your actions that you are one of mine.

Don't forget; I am Jesus and can take care of Myself. Just love Me and do what I have told you to do. I'll take care of all the rest. Check out the list above and get to work; time is short. I'll help you, but the ball is now in your court. And do have a most blessed Christmas with all those whom you love and remember.

I LOVE YOU,

JESUS

So. Yeah. Mom's getting a little unafraid to speak her mind the older she gets. Hmm.

Now, for those of you who may be annoyed/offended by both of these. I apologize. Except it IS my blog. So....

I just found it interesting that both of these emails were, supposedly, started and sent around by "Christians".

What do you think?

Whew!

2007-11-29T17:24:00.000-06:00

Well, apparently the medication hasn't helped me blog more often.

It did help on Thanksgiving Day though. I think.

It was an odd day. My parents got here Wednesday. Mom and I prepped a little Wednesday night, then cooked on Thursday morning. We told everyone we'd eat at 2:00. So, Mr. Swizzle's mom called to see what time they needed to be here. He told her, "Well, we're eating at 2, but you can come over as early as you'd like." They got here at 2.

My brother and his crew got here a little later, but had called to warn us they were running a little late. So, we probably ate around 2:45. No problem. Twinkle once again this year, asked if everyone could please just be quiet and eat. She cracks me up.

Everyone got along. Mr. Swizzle and his sister talked non-stop, as usual. After we ate, I sat with my brother and my dad on the couch watching football. I watched so much football over the holiday weekend, it's amazing. And I enjoyed every minute of it.

While we were watching the Cowboys' game, we saw some snow falling at the stadium. Hmmm. That's odd. The brief mention of this made Mr. Swizzle's mom declare that it was time to go because the roads were icing over. Of course, it was close to 40 outside and had been in the 60s the day before but, hey what do I know? Then she said, "Well, we needed to leave by 5:30 anyway, because we have to drive back home tonight (2 1/2 hours away)." Why? Why can't you spend more than 4 hours at our house interacting with your granddaughters? Because they had to get back to pack for their cruise. That they left for yesterday. Yes. The cruise left 6 days later, but ....

Anyhoo. My family stayed around until the end of the game and a little past that. Twinkle received an invitation to go spend the night with her cousins the next night. My parents took her with them when they went to spend a couple of evenings with my brother's family. We went to pick her up on Saturday evening and all went to a hockey game. She had a blast at my brother's house and at the game and wasn't ready to come home. Of course, she fell asleep within 5 minutes of leaving the hockey game.

All in all, it was a pretty good, not very stressful weekend. We didn't hit any stores on Friday, 'cause I just don't do that. I got to hang out with my family, sit in front of the fire, and relax.

Not bad at all.

All Signs Point to Yes

2007-11-20T20:30:00.000-06:00

Is the medication helping?

I'd have to answer this question with a resounding yes. Last week, Monday-Wednesday at least, I felt fabulous and accomplished several things that I really can't imagine having done a few weeks ago. The latter half of the week was OK, I just didn't do as much. I even went to the gym on Wednesday. Sparkle wasn't thrilled about that, but she'll get there.

The weekend was pretty nice, though I couldn't tell you right now what all I did. Hair appointment. Furniture shopping. Y'know, stuff. I DID make it to church Sunday, so, cheers.

This week is going well. Twinkle doesn't have school all week. We've watched Night at the Museum about 50 times since this time last week. My parents are arriving tomorrow and Mom has taken charge of all the food for Thursday except "my" mincemeat pie. I guess the true test will be the mixing of my and Mr. Swizzle's families on Thursday. Wish me luck.

My family is quiet. His family - not so much. Last year when it was just his family here for Thanksgiving, Twinkle, my loud, carefree, talkative Twinkle actually said at meal time, "Can we all just stop talking and eat?!" Yeah. They all talk at the same time and never stop. It makes me batty. Of course, MY family makes Mr. Swizzle batty because we can all sit in the same room watching a football game and not feel the need to speak at all. We all get along. We all love each other. We all know this. No discussion needed. Politics? Religion? World peace? (I typed that three times as "world peach") We have no need for them. We are a simple folk and enjoy each others' company talking or not.

So, yes, Thursday will be the true test of my medication. At least my family will be here to be a buffer for the loud ones. It'll be a good time, I'm sure.

And just you wait for the stories that will come out of it!

I Promised I Would

2007-11-09T13:30:00.000-06:00

MB over at Terrapin Station, in a blatant attempt to get me out of my blogging slump, tagged me to do the following:

Here is my kitchen window:
What's in there? Hmmm.

From left to right we have: a pottery bud vase, plant food, a collection of Twinkle's sand art, two small pots that Twinkle brought home from Kindergarten last year with something in them that was supposed to grow.

Behind the faucet (which is new BTW) is a small pottery dish with tea light candles in it.

Next is a pot that Twinkle painted and put a flower on using paint on her fingers when she was 3. It didn't get sealed, so if you water the plant, the paint comes off. Now it has a fake plant in it.

Next is a box of hummingbird food, and various lotions.

Finally, hanging on the window is a green glass sun catcher with a Celtic cross on it.

And it's not a bad view, to boot.

Things That Make Me Smile

2007-10-24T20:22:00.000-05:00

Well, thanks to my procrastinator ways, this first thing really makes me smile. The white qipao that I bought for Sparkle in China back in May to wear for her baptism still fits! Yea! (This link is not the dress, obviously, but it's just here to show you what a qipao is. And since the picture is kinda small, it's still hard to tell. It's a dress.)

Interestingly, white is a color of mourning in China, not of celebration. They have these baby sized qipaos in white at the stores in Guangzhou, I think, because of the number of Americans adopting babies that will be baptized back home. I did buy Sparkle a red one for New Years, and I really considered using it for her baptism. What would Fr. D say? Actually, I'm a little afraid it would bleed in the baptismal font.

So, that's one thing that makes me smile. I don't have to go searching for a baptism gown sometime between now and November 4. Whew!

The other thing that makes me smile is the following conversation that took place between Twinkle and me last night. She was an angel yesterday. Very well behaved all day. No whining. No arguing. It was wonderful. I guess it got to her, because she had a little bit of a cry fest while getting ready for bed over something very tiny. After she recovered, she decided that she wanted to go to sleep in her bed, instead of on the couch as had been previously discussed.

She asked, "Mom, could you read me a story and then snuggle with me?"
Me: Sure that sounds like a great idea.
T: You're welcome to do that any night you'd like that I go to sleep in my bed. (that phrasing?!)
Me: OK
T: But not Dad.
Me: Oh? Why not?
T: Because HE just reads POEMS!!!!

I laughed so hard. Then she said, "Well, he doesn't ALWAYS read poems."

Later, after we'd read a story and I was snuggling with her in her bed, she turned over and looked me in the eye and said, "Mom. POEMS!" Which, of course, made me die laughing again. I said, "You're so funny!" and T (my girl) said, "YES I AM!"

Oy.

One Step Closer

2007-10-23T19:03:00.001-05:00

Not only have I made the call, I actually went to the doctor today.

AND I had to take both girls with me. They were very well behaved. I was incredibly thankful.

My doctor was as understanding as I remembered. She did prescribe the medication that I previously took and faxed the prescription in for me. I went to pick up the prescription from the pharmacy and was informed that my insurance company requires pre-authorization for this medication. I seem to remember that from before. I'm not overly concerned that they won't do it, but I am slightly annoyed that they have an inkling that they may know better than my doctor.

Whatever. The upside is that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I may not start on the meds today, but I will shortly and in a few weeks, I'll be a new Mrs. Swizzle.

The Decision Has Been Made

2007-10-19T17:08:00.000-05:00

Well, mostly...

I haven't actually made the call, and deciding to do that could take a few weeks, but I've PRETTY MUCH decided that I'm going to get back to my doctor and get back on my happy pills.

Shortly after Twinkle was born, and I honestly can't remember how long - could be a few months, could be a year - I started taking Welbutron. I have a wonderful doctor who thinks it's silly for people to suffer from any level of depression with so many wonderful medications available. I stopped taking it a little over a year ago.

Lately, I've been keeping to myself a lot. Partly by choice, partly by being "homebound" while Sparkle naps. In the process, I fear I'm alienating some of my friends. While they may have always realized that I'm not the best at returning phone calls and such, I think my recent disappearance is throwing them off.

Most of my friends don't realize that lately I spend most days irritated. Just generally irritated. I can't pinpoint any one thing that irritates me. Though, I can say that I'm irritated by things that really shouldn't irritate me.

I find that I'm not enjoying my girls. Sparkle is on the verge of walking. I should be encouraging that, but it seems like I hardly even play with her. She naps pretty well, but most days when she wakes up from her nap, I just think "can't you sleep a little longer?" Twinkle is pure joy in her very core. I'm afraid I'm going to mess that up with all the snapping at her that I do.

And Mr. Swizzle? He's at least above the dog in the order of things around here. Well, except for when the dog was sick a couple of weeks back. Then, he may have been at the bottom.

Last Sunday, I left the house around noon to go to the church for a knitting gathering. I was really looking forward to it. I had a blast. But I have to admit, when I left the house I thought, "My family isn't expecting me back until 3 or 3:30. I could just get on the freeway and drive. How far could I get?"

Having taken happy pills before, I know I can feel better. Yes, I want to feel better for me. Certainly. But, my family and my friends deserve a happy, less cranky Mrs. Swizzle.

Now I need to just make that phone call.

Thanks Heavens It's Not Just Me!!!

2007-10-17T18:24:00.001-05:00

Stop what you're doing right now, and click this link. Trust me, just do it. Then laugh until you stop.

Creativity is Good, Right?

2007-10-15T10:18:00.000-05:00

Friday when I went to pick Twinkle up from school I had the following conversation with her PE teacher.

Teacher: Twinkle told me that over the summer she was riding her bike on the hill in front of her house and had a wreck and had to have surgery on her face.

Me: Uh...

Teacher: I told her that she didn't look like she had any scars.

Me: (to myself - Obviously, this woman has my child confused with some other kid.) Aloud - uh, no. No surgery.

Teacher: Yeah, it didn't really seem right.

Me: Yeah, um, no, that didn't happen.

Fast forward --- Twinkle is securely buckled in and we're on our way home.

Me: Twinkle, your teacher told me that you told her you had a wreck on your bike and had to have surgery on your face this summer.

T: Oh! Yeah! (all excited)

Me: Why did you tell her that?

T: I was just telling her a story.

Me: Yeah, but you didn't tell her it was a story. You made it sound true.

T: Well, remember when I DID ride my bike down the street and I DID have an accident?

Me: Yes, but that was 2 years ago.

T: Well, yeah, but that part is true!

Me: OK, what about the face surgery?

T: Well, that part FEELS true, but it isn't.

Me: Right. OK. I'm really glad you're so creative and all, but it really isn't nice to tell people something as if it's true when it isn't really true. You need to make sure they know you're just telling them a story.

T: OK. It felt true, but it wasn't.

Me: Right.

Deep Breath

2007-10-10T21:42:00.000-05:00

You know, it's hard to post when you don't feel like doing anything. And boy, I feel like doin' nuttin'. Absotively nuttin'.

It kinda sucks. Or possibly, blows.

I'm not sure what it is. I'm feeling really...ugh. I feel like I have so many things that I need to do, and I don't want to do any of them. I'm just going one day to the next. Feeling overwhelmed and thinking, "tomorrow, tomorrow...I'll do that tomorrow. It's ALWAYS a day away....."

There are many things about which I think, "it's just short term." But short term seems to be drawing out more and more. It seems to be turning into a "not so short term."

I keep thinking I need a girls' night. It'd be great. I don't feel like setting THAT up.

I need a kick in the pants. I NEED more sleep. I probably need more exercise, because that has fallen off with the addition of the new little one. Better food would be a good thing.

But see? Listing those things out? Doesn't make me feel any better. It just makes me feel more overwhelmed.

Send me some love. Send me some prayers.

I'm going to bed.

Now My Dog Has Been Tagged!

2007-10-03T12:55:00.000-05:00

MB, at Terrapin Station, kindly sent along these questions for Senna from her pups, Josie and Boudreaux:

Okay, Senna! Josie and Boudreaux want some answers to the Five Questions meme...

1) Will we be meeting you at the Blessing of the Animals this coming Sunday? If we do, and we bark at you, will you be offended? (We don't really understand that dogs as big as you ... could eat us for a snack.)
I'm not sure I'm going to make it to the Blessing of the Animals. I went last year and it was great! That big, tall guy in the dress kinda freaks me out, though. If I'm there, you can bark at me and I won't be offended, though I may sniff you.

2) What is your favorite place to play? At home, the park, with your people?
My favorite place to play is the backyard! Sometimes, mom throws my Frisbee and sometimes I just run along the fence and try to catch cars, or other dogs.

3) What do you usually eat for dinner? Do you get any leftovers, or is it just DOG FOOD ALL THE TIME?
Dinner is the best! I just got this new food that doesn't make noise when you put it in the bowl! It's nice and soft. Tastes like chicken. I don't usually get leftovers, but the new, smallest human is very generous in sharing her food with me.

4) If you got to go on a vacation, where would you want to go?
Well, I went on vacation once. There were a lot of trees there. I'd like to go there again. It was great! Mom says it's called "the woods" and it's where her parents live. She also says we have to look out for "ticks", whatever that is.

5) How do you feel about going in the car?
The car?! We're going in the car?! Gotta go!!!!!!

I've Been Tagged

2007-09-28T17:09:00.000-05:00

Heather over at Cool Zebras tagged me for the Fab 4 Meme...John, Paul, George and Ringo! Do I win? Oh wait...

4 Jobs I’ve Held

Checker at Wolfe Nursery (right up until they went out of business - it wasn't me!)
Paralegal
Chiropractic Assistant
Mama

4 Films I Could Watch Over and Over

Silence of the Lambs (yeah)
Master and Commander
Gladiator (sensing a theme between those two?)
Any Harry Potter

4 TV Shows I Watch

The Office
Rescue Me
Man vs. Wild
Dirty Jobs

4 Places I’ve Lived

Longview, TX
Lewisville, TX
Highland Village, TX
Durham, NC (70 odd days - interesting story)

4 Favorite Foods

Beans & Rice
Any Pasta
Mexican Food
Indian Food

4 Websites I Visit Everyday

Etsy (this has been cutting into my blogging time - go shop!)
Go Fug Yourself
CNN
The Superficial

4 Favorite Colors

Purple
Pink
Twinkle's eyes (yummy brown)
Green

4 Places I Would Love to Be Right Now

NYC
Ireland
Scotland
Belize

4 Names I Love But Would/Could Not Use for my Children

Quinn
Eden
Lola
Veronica

I pass this Fab 4 MeMe on to: Elastigirl, MB, Duchess of Insanity, Miss Smarty Pants

Update on the Pup

2007-09-26T15:13:00.000-05:00

Well, the good news is that Senna has Addison's Disease. While serious, it's good news because it beats the alternative of renal failure. It is treatable with Prednisone and other steroid type medication.

So, she's still at the vet. They wanted to keep her there until she eats something. Hopefully, she's getting better. I'm expecting a call from the vet this afternoon with an update.

Pets

2007-09-25T17:11:00.000-05:00

Meet Senna. (The dog, not the child).

Senna is 4 1/2 years old. She was born the night the US invaded Iraq, the runt of the litter of about 10. She has always been and is still kind of a submissive dog... In a "so submissive she might freak out and bite a stranger she feels threatened by" kind of way.

I have a love/hate relationship with this dog. She's such a sweety to me and the fam. She recognizes my Alpha Bitch status. But she sheds like a mofo, which I've mentioned before. She frightens most who come to the door. She pretty much needs to stay in her crate for most visitors - especially if they happen to be over 5'2" or male. Our priest flat out overwhelms her.

Senna is the first dog we've had since having children. Before that, we had a dog, Jaz (but pronounced Yaz. Ah the 80s), that I got when I was a junior in high school. She lived to a ripe old age of 14 and had to be put to sleep when I was 4 months pregnant with Twinkle. The vet was great throughout the whole thing, but I digress.

I'm realizing that dogs post kids are very different from dogs pre-kids. She is just at the very bottom of the totem pole. Our adding another child in May just pushed her down another level. I just don't feel the bond with her that I did with our previous dog.

The past couple of days, Senna has not been eating. She's been a bit mopey, even for her, and she's not an active dog. She hasn't even been cleaning up the food Sparkle so sweetly drops on the ground for her. So, this morning when she [pardon me] regurgitated something foul smelling, I decided that I probably should do something. Long story short, Senna is spending the night at the vet with an IV to rehydrate her while they try to figure out if she has Addison's Disease or kidney problems.

I, of course, feel bad for her low station on the totem pole around here. That's just the way it is right now. I'm anxious to find out what exactly is wrong with her, and where we go from here.

Today's Sparkles

2007-09-21T10:42:00.001-05:00

My miniature roses off the front porch.

I had fun trying to catch a drip with the camera.

It really seems like there should be a frog under there.

More roses.

These are the bracelets I'm wearing today.

Leave me a comment and let me know how you are making your day a sparkly one.

Here's a Question...

2007-09-20T14:52:00.000-05:00

Can anybody tell me how to get rid of my 13 month old's dog food breath? Anybody? ? ?

New rule at Chez Swizzle, dog food bowls come up off of the floor once the dog has wandered away.

Ugh.

Be Sparkly!

2007-09-19T10:24:00.000-05:00

Friday is Sparkly Hannah Day. Hannah would have turned 6 on Friday if not for a horrible tragedy that happened two months ago today.

Hannah was a very sparkly and fancy girl who loved "all things bright and beautiful" and often found beauty where most adults wouldn't think to look.

Hannah's mom has been keeping up with her blog and "talking things through" in a way I can't imagine doing myself. They have a wonderful day planned for Friday. She invites us all to go out of our way to wear or do something sparkly on Friday, or just slow down to notice beauty around you that you may have not noticed before. Notice the dew on the grass. Paint your toenails. Wear that jewelry that you never wear because it's "special".

Start thinking about Friday and how you can honor this precious spirit.

Where Has the Week Gone?

2007-09-18T15:26:00.001-05:00

It's been a little crazy around Chez Swizzle, but only a normal crazy.

Twinkle had her second soccer game of the season on Saturday. She had lots of fun and really enjoys chasing others around the field. She even, apparently, ignored some trash talk from a player on the other team. Something about how they were going to win and we weren't. Poor child has a math problem. Ah well.

After we'd been home from the soccer game for a few hours, Twinkle came down with (is that the right way to say it?) a fever. She managed to hang on to that fever all day Sunday and part of the day on Monday - except of course while at the doctor's office. She's perfectly peachy today. Thank heavens!

Clearly, she didn't go to school on Monday. What made this a bit interesting is my carpool set up. See, the next door neighbor that I carpool with (and her husband) are in Rome this week for his job. Instead of having the direction-impaired grandparents participate in our carpool schedule this week, I said I'd drive Twinkle and the girl next door (GND) to and from school Monday and Wednesday. How could this be a problem? Oh, right. If Twinkle runs a fever for 2 1/2 days. Right....

I did take the GND to and from school Monday. Mr. Swizzle stayed home Monday morning so I could take her to school without the Viral One. He also came home from work in time for me to go pick up the GND (and Twinkle's work) in the afternoon. It really wasn't that big of a deal for ME. I couldn't have done it without Mr. S, but I didn't really feel put out to do it. I'm not sure why.

Last evening around 5:30, we received a call from Rome. On their cell phone. Clear as a bell. My neighbor had, of course, called her daughter and in laws to see how things were going. GND told her mom that Twinkle was sick, etc., etc. She was exceedingly grateful and swore that next week she'd take the girls both to and from school. It really didn't bother me to do it. I'm still not sure why. She went on and on about how grateful she was and that I didn't have to do that tomorrow if Twinkle was still sick. Thankfully, Twinkle WILL be going to school tomorrow.

I think I may have done something to form a bond with my neighbor. It's a nice feeling. We've lived here for 3 years. Twinkle and GND love to play together even though GND is a couple of years older. My neighbor is less talkative than I am. As usual, our children have brought us out of our shells.

Maybe it has been a little crazier than normal this week. It IS only Tuesday.

A Time To Remember

2007-09-11T15:19:00.000-05:00

What's missing from this picture?

I took this picture last year from the Brooklyn Bridge. There's so much in this picture, yet all I can see when I look at it is a large hole.

I'll never forget this day 6 years ago. A Tuesday just like today. When I think of it, my eyes still fill with tears and my heart races.

So much has changed in the last 6 years. Twinkle was only 3 1/2 months old and not aware of much about the world around her except for those people she saw on a daily basis. Adopting from China wasn't so much as a spark of an idea. We lived in a different house. Mr. Swizzle had just started a job on September 1 after 5 1/2 months of no work. Dear friends now, were strangers then.

So much hasn't changed. The people who orchestrated this horrible thing are still out and about. I'm still disappointed in our President's response. I still can't comprehend this event.

The number of American soldiers who've died in Iraq has exceeded the number of people killed on this day 6 years ago. I still haven't figured out the link between Iraq and 9/11/01. Why are they there? When bin Laden and friends aren't? Does anyone remember that this date was used as a reason to go to Iraq?

It's a day full of answerless questions.

Perspective

2007-09-10T09:14:00.001-05:00

What a morning. It has been pouring rain since about 6:30 this morning. Crazy amounts of water falling from the sky.

Luckily, for me, my neighbor offered to drive the girls to school this morning because next week I'll be driving to and from school while she's out of town. I felt bad for her having to drive in this, really I did. But I hate and am slightly terrified of driving in this kind of weather. This is probably due to the fact that the only wreck I've ever had involved hydroplaning on the freeway, hitting a guardrail, and ending up facing traffic. But I digress. Obviously if there had been no one else to take Twinkle to school today, I would have done it. I just would have been a mess when it was all said and done.

After driving, yes driving, Twinkle next door for her ride to school, I came back home and had some tea, unloaded and reloaded the dishwasher, and generally relaxed. I had planned to go to the gym today, but the image of carrying Sparkle and an umbrella in a monsoon deterred me. What can I say? Sparkle and I are going to have an inside, thank God we can stay dry, kind of day.

I also checked out the radar. Our area on the radar had this huge, red blob on it. "Well, that explains a lot," I thought. Then I wondered what more was on its way toward us so I zoomed out on the radar. I kept zooming out and zooming out until I could see all of our state and the states around us. Our big red blob became very small, almost impossible to see for all the green which simply shows that there's rain in the area. There were green dots here and there around our state and to the north of us. But, on the whole, it was mostly clear. Here we are covered in red on the close up, wondering what is going to come washing down the street, while around us others are waking to the sunshine.

It just hit me. So many things can make us try to find perspective in our lives. Reading about the death of a child who is close to our own child's age. Hearing about someone losing their home to a fire. A friend finding out they have inoperable cancer. Today, for me, I got all philosophical about the radar. It's hard to imagine that there are others out there, maybe only an hour away, who aren't covered by a big red blob. They are in the clear. And we could be in the clear in no time. And when we are in the clear, they may under the big red blob.

I guess the next time I'm feeling like I'm under a big red blob, I'll try to zoom out and get perspective. Sunshine isn't too far away.